3 Questions to Ask to Find Leaving or Staying Power
Relationships are not easy. Because it can be hard to see ourselves and see others clearly, we lose the boundary between what belongs to us or is someone else's stuff. I have had multiple conversations about this in the past week or so. So I would like to share some insight that I have discovered in my search.
Have you ever walked into a room and immediately your energy changed? You were feeling calm before, but now you are feeling uneasy, listless, or anxious? Though there are a lot of reasons why this might be the case based on the other things happening in the room, something is for sure: What you feel now is not what you felt before you went there. What is happening now, affecting your energy now, is about the place and people within that space now. Good thing you can leave the room!
When in relationship, it may not be so easy. Especially in a long term relationship with a lover or with a friend you've known "forever," it can be hard to see past the comfort this relationship has provided, even if it was not the most adequate of relationships. You can't just get up and leave
because your heart is enmeshed with another being's. The energy that you feel with this person starts to feel as if it is your own. I am speaking to empaths here. Not everyone has this level of sensitivity. But if you do feel on this level, if you are struggling to decide to leave or to stay in a relationship, I invite you to ask yourself a few questions.
These questions are probably not new to you, but maybe you have not contemplated the truth of the answers to them. Maybe this time, seeing these questions in succession together, they will give you a fresh perspective. However these questions sit with you, it is important to listen to the answers. If you feel a no to any of these questions, open your heart to why this is the case. Is what you hear true? Why? What have you seen that validates your no answer?
Asking yourself to see the truth more clearly takes courage, and though it may seem like saying no requires immediate action, relax. Don't be rash unless you have to be. Take the time to remove yourself in increments and release yourself little by little from the doom of leaving someone whom you may love, but whose energy is not good for you.
Leaving the room is one way to begin removing yourself, but it is not lasting. Knowing why you are leaving is quite another approach that will keep you out of this predicament in the future or move you along now. It will even save you the trouble of staying in relationship with the "wrong" people for too long. Try these questions out in all of your relationships and begin the process of evaluating your staying or leaving power. You are strong and you can do those things that will create your most abundant life. Do it for you.
1. Can I accept the light and dark sides of this person?
If your relationship with this person was never going to change, could you accept all that is? See the person for who they are and consider the good and the not so good. You can not control their behavior, and they may never change. Can you accept that? One caveat I'd like to approach here: If someone is emotionally or physically abusive to you, you can not accept this. And the answer is no, absolutely, NO. You are worth more than that. If someone's shadow side is causing you pain, the answer again is NO to the above question.
2. Can you grow in the relationship as it exists?
Do you have space in the relationship to not only be yourself but to blossom? If we do not grow, we die. As human beings, we are designed to grow, in thought, in size.... If we do not grow, we become stagnant, depressed, and eventually we become lifeless. If you can not personally grow as a human being, the answer to this question is no.
3. If you stay in this relationship, can you fulfill your mission? Your mission is important to us all, whether you believe it or not. You are special and what you offer to the world no one else can. If you were not here, you would be missed and your contribution lost. It is my belief that this is the most important thing we are here to do, fulfill our mission. Aligning with and working to fulfill our missions is how we build true confidence and how we show ourselves approved. If you can not fulfill your unique mission while in this relationship, the answer to this questions is no.
If you say yes to all of these and ask yourself why, if you say yes to all of these and can truly see evidence of why you can stay, good. Keep on keeping on. Use your staying power. If you say no to anyone or all of these, ask why, and see clear evidence of why no is your answer, it is time to recognize your leaving power. Your inability to accept what is without some change to accompany it, and the detriment to your growth and your mission alone may create the will in you to leave, but if not it is time to meditate, to open your mind and heart to the next steps. Little by little with no blame game, you will recognize your unique power. You are enough and you do have what it takes, but your work is required.
If you are unsure how to meditate in this way, I can help you. I offer private meditation sessions for your unique needs. I am happy to offer them to you, too. You are worth it!
Sat Nam
Courtney
Have you ever walked into a room and immediately your energy changed? You were feeling calm before, but now you are feeling uneasy, listless, or anxious? Though there are a lot of reasons why this might be the case based on the other things happening in the room, something is for sure: What you feel now is not what you felt before you went there. What is happening now, affecting your energy now, is about the place and people within that space now. Good thing you can leave the room!
When in relationship, it may not be so easy. Especially in a long term relationship with a lover or with a friend you've known "forever," it can be hard to see past the comfort this relationship has provided, even if it was not the most adequate of relationships. You can't just get up and leave
These questions are probably not new to you, but maybe you have not contemplated the truth of the answers to them. Maybe this time, seeing these questions in succession together, they will give you a fresh perspective. However these questions sit with you, it is important to listen to the answers. If you feel a no to any of these questions, open your heart to why this is the case. Is what you hear true? Why? What have you seen that validates your no answer?
Asking yourself to see the truth more clearly takes courage, and though it may seem like saying no requires immediate action, relax. Don't be rash unless you have to be. Take the time to remove yourself in increments and release yourself little by little from the doom of leaving someone whom you may love, but whose energy is not good for you.
Leaving the room is one way to begin removing yourself, but it is not lasting. Knowing why you are leaving is quite another approach that will keep you out of this predicament in the future or move you along now. It will even save you the trouble of staying in relationship with the "wrong" people for too long. Try these questions out in all of your relationships and begin the process of evaluating your staying or leaving power. You are strong and you can do those things that will create your most abundant life. Do it for you.
1. Can I accept the light and dark sides of this person?
If your relationship with this person was never going to change, could you accept all that is? See the person for who they are and consider the good and the not so good. You can not control their behavior, and they may never change. Can you accept that? One caveat I'd like to approach here: If someone is emotionally or physically abusive to you, you can not accept this. And the answer is no, absolutely, NO. You are worth more than that. If someone's shadow side is causing you pain, the answer again is NO to the above question.
2. Can you grow in the relationship as it exists?
Do you have space in the relationship to not only be yourself but to blossom? If we do not grow, we die. As human beings, we are designed to grow, in thought, in size.... If we do not grow, we become stagnant, depressed, and eventually we become lifeless. If you can not personally grow as a human being, the answer to this question is no.
3. If you stay in this relationship, can you fulfill your mission? Your mission is important to us all, whether you believe it or not. You are special and what you offer to the world no one else can. If you were not here, you would be missed and your contribution lost. It is my belief that this is the most important thing we are here to do, fulfill our mission. Aligning with and working to fulfill our missions is how we build true confidence and how we show ourselves approved. If you can not fulfill your unique mission while in this relationship, the answer to this questions is no.
If you say yes to all of these and ask yourself why, if you say yes to all of these and can truly see evidence of why you can stay, good. Keep on keeping on. Use your staying power. If you say no to anyone or all of these, ask why, and see clear evidence of why no is your answer, it is time to recognize your leaving power. Your inability to accept what is without some change to accompany it, and the detriment to your growth and your mission alone may create the will in you to leave, but if not it is time to meditate, to open your mind and heart to the next steps. Little by little with no blame game, you will recognize your unique power. You are enough and you do have what it takes, but your work is required.
If you are unsure how to meditate in this way, I can help you. I offer private meditation sessions for your unique needs. I am happy to offer them to you, too. You are worth it!
Sat Nam
Courtney
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