c.rohan.yoga

Addiction: Yoga Helps

2012-02-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

Addiction-- Yoga Helps

I want to start by acknowledging that everyone has addictions. They are the holding of energy, about a specific topic, in the body. They are the repetition of repeated thinking about the same issue, as in volume, not problem. They are the constant seeing of the same color; the effect of disconnection from the whole picture.

In recent, the death of some fabulous artists has startled me to the rampant work of addictive energies. What has been the factor in keeping us in this roundabout? Amy Winehouse, Etta James, Whitney Houston, (in death order)…I am certain that I am forgetting someone. We have recently lost some greats!!

I think it most important now to look at the pattern. I suppose, in a sense, it is like an equation that is not solvable but is worth recognizing. It is recognizing that drugs are affecting lives, whole lives, but that the chemical is not really the true focus. The real work has to happen internally. It happens in the cells. It is through the creation of shifts in the cells that we actually change the matrix that we are. This, in Yoga, is found through the movement of the spine. It is floating the colors of the chakras back to their rightful place, so you can recognize what does not belong.

This sounds real ethereal, I know, but it is the truth as is seen. I can help you create this movement and focus. I would be happy to work with you through transition. (c.rohan.yoga@gmail.com)

Sat Nam

Yoga for Pregnant Yoginis

2012-02-04T14:43:00.000-08:00

I’ve recently been around many pregnant Yoginis. It is wonderful to see us birthing life. However, kind that notion, I know for a fact that I did yoga differently when I was carrying life other than my own. What an honor.

What can you do about this transition for both of the lives involved? Well, the first thing you should not do is stop doing yoga. Let your practice evolve into what you need now more than ever, calm and relaxation. Let your body become the motion that will lull you both into a restful orbit.

(Go forward with ease and recognize that every pose is not for everyone. If you have complications within your pregnancy, you should seek a doctor to be certain this series of poses will not put either you or your baby in jeopardy.)

Poses to include in your time on the mat:

To Malasana—begin standing in Tadasana—Mountain pose—Shoulders rolled back and down; neck extended to assist energy movement out through the crown of the head; lift your toes and plant them one by one into the floor; fix your gaze in front of you; spend a moment here to feel the ground beneath your feet and bring your breath into your awareness.

Take your feet out to the width of your mat; slowly bend into your knees; reach for the floor to assist your possible shift in balance; set your sitting bones back in space and open your hips while continuing to draw your knees out to the pinky toe side of your foot; lift your heart—(Malasana)—breathe for 5-7 breaths, longer if you feel comfortable and want to hang out, but don’t push it and definitely don’t over do it.

When you are ready, fix your hands out in front of you on the floor—inhale through your shoulders and exhale out through your fingers; stretch forward; keep you back as straight as possible—do your best. Be sure to stay in your feet, so you do not fall forward.

Continue to reach forward, but begin to activate what we call Mula Bandha before moving on. This is similar to doing kegels, where you hold and release the skin between the reproductive organs and the anus. This will improve the sympathetic and the parasympathetic systems where, not to over simplify, the body finds relaxation and balance.

Slowly roll up through the spine to stand. Ground down through your feet and plant your efforts for the rest of your journey through to childbirth.

We can work on a plan together if you like… Let me know of your needs, and we can go from there. (c.rohan.yoga@gmail.com)

Here is a good video to watch to see what Malasana is about

Sat Ra
Namaste

Cancer Free and Yoga

2012-01-30T14:32:00.000-08:00

Coworkers and Friends in this glorious journey,

I do not want to bother you with my story; however, I do want you to know of my battle with cancer if you are interested. Feel free to keep reading, or know that you can read this when you have time. I think it important to share who we are. That is how we help each other.

In July, I was diagnosed with CLL (Chronic Lymphomatic Luekemia). Through a chain of events in June, my fatigue and growing lymphnodes were explained. Six months ago, I was told that I should go through six rounds of chemotherapy. I told everyone that I spoke with and that I thought needed to know. Beyond that I was not uncomfortable, nor am I uncomfortable now talking more about how this all came about. Please ask if you are interested.

This blog is to share my gratitude with those of you who prayed, danced around camp fires(figuratively, maybe?), and did yoga with and for me. I had one bout of neasuea, and I felt tired sometimes. I did not lose my hair. I did not have to stop my normal activities. Life has been pretty normal; I just had cancer. Had, yes, had cancer. My oncologist, Dr. El Geneidy, recently ran a scan and declared me cancer free. I attribute that to God, prayers and yoga.

Thank you for thinking of me and my family. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. Thank you for your meals, the heat from the swirling fire (Only in the best way did I receive that) and your kind words.

I am and have always been ready to move forward. Give me a call or shoot me an email when you are ready to do some yoga.

Sat Ra

Namaste

2011-09-23T08:27:00.000-07:00

Yoga Techniques for Cancer Patients: Deep Breathing and Meditation with Courtney Rohan, Certified Yoga Instructor and Thai Yoga Massage Bodyworker

Yoga is a natural healing technique that, when used effectively, has the capability of focusing the mind around life’s challenges. Deep breathing and meditation are two diverse practices that allow the mind and body clarity and strength.

This class will allow students to experience each of the following breathing and mediation modalities:
• Ujjayi
• Bhastrika (with light asana)
• Alternate Nostril Breathing
• Focus (Drishti) Meditation

Location:
Amsa Yoga LLC, 140 Pelham Drive, Columbia, SC 29209
(803) 695-0031
amsayogasc@yahoo.com

Date:
October 22, 2011

"Heads Up"

2011-07-29T17:36:00.000-07:00

Recently I thought about the time I was spending. I was sitting in a place wondering what is the best approach to giving. It is time to do more of that. My family and friends have been sitting with me in this place, I call it "The Sanctuary". It is actually a cancer center.

While sitting in "The Sanctuary" the other day, I asked my sister to crochet with me. It makes sense that something so easy would be done. It makes sense that not only would it be done, but done to be given to someone in need. At the cancer center, hats and scarves will be left near the chairs for the patients--a sweet note attached "For You...Keep your head up".

I've offered this enterprise to some friends too...some who can crochet/ knit...some who have homemade hats who will fill them with reiki (Thanks Ali)...some who have ten dollars that they want to send also.

Would you be interested in being apart of this? Email me c.rohan.yoga@gmail.com and you can show yourself how your efforts can help you.

Be well,

Sat Ra

24 Hours of Yoga

2011-07-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

I always thought that I would do asana. Regardless of my meditation or pranayam practices, I always felt that asana was the yoga for me. My asana practice, always fiery, left me rung out and aligned. I still feel most adamantly connected to Hatha yoga specifically, Vinyasa Flow. And, I will continue to provide this for myself as well as for my client base.

Recently, I was finding that the fire I was so used to in my practice was harder and harder for me to accomplish. In order to do an hour practice, I would have to employ many of the pranayam techniques I know, and make use of dristhis (focal points) more often and find Adho Mukah Svanasana (Downdog) as a resting posture verses the transition it was most often. All of these pieces should be made use of during a practice, it is true. I was not concerned by that, I felt my practice taking on a new flare. It was good. No, it was great. I was able to do things I could not do before. I just had to be gentle with myself and find relaxation throughout my hour.

This was not a problem for me, but rather a difference; a difference that caused pause for a healthy, young person. I have discovered that there is a need to pause and thus, my asana has become second to a practice I have been aware of for sometime now, but was not making use of.

During my yoga teacher training, I met a fabulous man. Daniel Orlansky happens to be one of the most profound Kundalini/ Merdian professionals I know, even after meeting many other wonderful teachers. He taught me a healing practice that has now come to be my yoga avenue. It is fiery. It heals the endocrine system, while moving energy throughout the body. It rings me out and further, leaves me aligned.

Every morning, I pillage through kriyas (cleansing practices), adding a new one to my arsenal each day. I am working up to an hour of focused kriya practice. Through this, I am enthused to make use of the knowledge imparted to me over seven years ago and to be able to bring something new to my clients as this practice merges with my already established asana practice.

I’ve realized that there is no distinction. My yoga is evolving with me. As I have need, I deploy the facets that cater to my growth, and because of this, I am reminded that I can do yoga all day. Being blessed with one hour leading to the rest of the 23, if it is offered, my yoga is deeply breathed and enjoyed for myself and for others.

In relationship,

Courtney

Downstream Trip Up North

2011-06-04T09:35:00.000-07:00

Once leaving Philadephia, almost two years now, getting back to the city has been what I would have once called a struggle. Now, I call this life. I call it happenstance. The playground. It's wonderful to be headed downstream, where everything I want is waiting for me. Let me paraphrase: Relaxing in the current stream that I have created sends me downstream, and as I float downstream, everything I've asked for appears.

I will be traveling from June 18th to June 26th. If you would like some Thai Massage or Yoga, be in touch (609 417-3217) to schedule some playtime.

Sat Ra

Courtney.

Dropping Back

2011-04-21T10:45:00.001-07:00

Upward Salute, an opening backbend-- the first of many backbends leading to my dropback

Working on my Urdhva Dhanurasana dropback and realizing what this movement really entails has brought me down to earth about advanced poses and their implications. Being able to do advanced poses is not just found in the Annamaya Kosha (the physical body sheath) alone, but rather begins in the progression of poses and expands through all the layers.

Let me take a moment to explain what I know about sheaths or koshas. Each of us beings are made up of these layers, each leading on to the deeper sense of the self. So, as one would imagine the koshas begin on the outer layer, which consists of your physical body, the Annamaya Kosha. This is where many people begin their yoga practice, and where many people stay. Yoga feels good to the body. But as we are divine, our being is more than skin and bone. We are energy. When we accept this we are chosen to deal with the next layer/s of our beings.

The second kosha is the Pranamaya kosha. At this layer ones’ focus is breath through energy. One recognizes their vibration and possibly begins to make necessary eye-opening changes, deepening and lengthening the breath, for example. Then, the Manamaya kosha, the mental layer where thoughts and emotions are felt and directed. The Vijnanamaya kosha, the layer containing the healthy dose of wisdom accumulated from living life is next. Anandamaya kosha, bliss, and lastly, Atman, that which is self.

I remember my first interaction with these “strange” words. I was in a teacher training and my teacher wanted us to remember them. I was unsure why. I have only recently since enticing a dropback realized that recognizing these layers, though I had not appreciated it at the time, has allowed me a vehicle to go deeper in my practice and into my-self.

You may wonder if I really believe that accomplishing a dropback will cater to reaching Atman. I know that the path is not that straight or black and white. Though it is also not as complex as I once thought either. It is. It just is.

I will continue to practice and grow and feel abundant gratitude for the layers I pierce. How important it is to mention that I was not able to do this work without work. I still have to do five poses to do Hanamanasana (splits) and my dropback happens at the end of my practice because it is then that I feel most connected to the power I possess.

Interestingly, I feel a rush somehow to attain more. However, no matter the feeling, I will be able to do what is purposed for me to do and attain. I only hurt my-self imagining any differently. I am contented by the purposeful movement surrounding me, and hope to create that in you as well. It is an idea that causes me to press to see what is around the corner, with and through body, energy, mental ability, wisdom, bliss and self, when I am allowed. Looking forward…

Sat Nam,

Courtney

The Flow

2011-01-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

Jay-Z was on Oprah's new network, OWN, speaking about his career and how he became a master of his craft. He spoke about the flow in music and how the artist tucks into the music to create the flow. How they find themselves in the music in order to avoid interrupting the flow. They become apart of the music.

There is a flow to everything. In life, there is a flow. In yoga, there is a flow that varies from one tree of yoga to the next. There is a flow in our bodies, the flow of blood and the flow of air. Recognizing this flow changing the way we interact with and in the world. It changes the way we address our strengths and our weaknesses. Fighting the flow is what gives us splinters, how we drown or choke.

We do not become strong in life by going against natural forces. We should tuck into the flow of ourselves, life, music, yoga, nature and ride or float or jump the way that is right for us. The goal should be how to tuck in all the time, into every moment and experience. This is what sets us apart. This is where success exists, in the going with the truth to create a path all our own. Tucking in is courage, strength and ultimate peace.

At the end of the Master Class, Oprah contributes, "find your truth and go after it" as a way to sum up
Jay-Z's ideas about success. Go after your truth and stay tucked in until you become the truth you seek.
Master Class-- Sneak Peek

--Sat Nam, Namaste

IGNITE YOUR SOUL - Best / Most Motivational Inspirational Positive Quote...

2010-12-31T08:20:00.000-08:00

The Kitchen Phone

2010-12-27T06:57:00.000-08:00

My aunt called me to the table

The honest truth

On the wooden surface
The truth of my monkey ass
Realizing not what I am worth

I did not want to call her tell her

What was going on cause I knew

I would be picking my heart up

From the linoleum
The brown and white tile
Impression stuck on my arteries

But last night I needed someone

To call it what it was
Stupid for me to believe in things
That are not real
Lies leading to more lies
One monkey vine to the next

So I am happy my heart hurts

Because of the truth

There is nothing like it
Nothing better
Than knowing who you have become
Even when your ass is exposed

And the kitchen with my aunt

The only place

To pick myself up cleaned

From the wood and tile truth

Of an ugly situation.

picture taken from: chiclittlehouse.blogspot.com

My Stress Busting Holiday/ Everyday Growth List

2010-12-24T11:47:00.000-08:00

I've smoked, talked too much about too much, eaten too much of the wrong foods and drank way more than one night should have allowed me. I believe it is time to stop looking for the fix that feels easy and create a list of fixes that work for us, not against us.

Here is the list I pull out when I am stuck, when the day is not bright, when I feel heavy, and the people around me feel even heavier. Use mine or create your own.

1. Pray: Do more here than just utter a prayer.Pray about all that troubles you and all that you are grateful for as well. Be real with the creator and allow Him to be real in return. Say something new and He will do something new in return.

2. Work out: I have recently discovered the treadmill. I want to push myself harder each time, beat my last record, or go a little further. When I am done, I feel good about myself. I have drained myself of excess emotion and thought.

3. Yoga: I have to be careful here. Sometimes, with skirt or dress on, I just drop to my knees and do some cat cows-- this is scary for my 6 year old (hahaha). But for any normal human being, do what feels good to your body (with the appropriate attire on) especially when you are not feeling the best inside. A personal favorite for me right now is utthita tikonanasana (extended triangle pose). It extends me, exposes my heart, opens me and allows me to look up and out of myself.

4. Read: I have been reading the best book lately, "The Namesake" by Jhumpa Lahiri. Though, I have to admit, if you choose to read it, that I did cry during parts of it. I found that the writing was so good, I was feeling the main characters' thoughts and emotions as my own.

5. Have a cup of tea: I like the Stash brand myself. I am hooked on the lemon ginger or the chai-- when I'm really having a moment and need to feel cozy, I go to the chai bag. There are also teas that have uplifting factors: Citrus, Chamomile or Rose teas are a great place to start.

6. Give something positive: I have been keeping a bag inside my closet so that I can give clothes away regularly. As soon as I fill a bag up, I give it away. But, you don't even have to give clothes. In the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and in the Bible alike, giving is best when done with a right attitude.Consider what you are giving always, and the feeling you get in return can uplift instantly.

7. Meditate with deep breathing: There are some people who meditate daily and still feel gloom. The reason is that they continue after meditating to look in the same metaphysical direction. Meditate to change where you look when you reopen your eyes to the world.

I appreciate meditations focused on specific things. However, I am clear and calm when I place my right hand on my heart and my left on my stomach and breathe. Sometimes I count my breaths. Sometimes I don't. I make sure though, however I start my mediation, be it with a focus or without, that I stay with it the length of time I am meditating.

8. Sing: Sing happy songs. Sing songs about joy. If you can't sing chant. If you can't chant hum. Make a joyful noise.

9. Write: I have a healer who suggests "Writing and Burning." I love this technique because I can do it with my eyes closed, literally. I like to sit to do this. I usually find myself on the floor-- weird or may be not. I have a book designated to my write and burns, so I am not upset to tear out the page. With pen in hand and a blank page of my notebook, I close my eyes and begin writing anything. When I feel I am at the end of the page, I go back up to the top. I keep writing until my hand expires and I have nothing left to say. Then, I burn the paper-- with all of the things my heart has revealed to me-- all consumed by the flames.

10. Gratitude List: Create a list, on paper or aloud, of all the things you are grateful for.

Each of these techniques takes commitment. Be committed to yourself. Be committed to your growth. Happy Holidays...

The Peace of Nature

Some Times We Just Need to Remember

2010-09-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

taken from farfromperfectrobbin.blogspot.com

Sometimes to remember is the best course of action and yet somehow, remembering is a skill so hard to access that we are left only to forget. What we remember is key. What we forget, even more a key. Why have we chosen to forget that date or that time? Why was the message lost after it left that loved one’s mouth or that stranger’s conversation, glanced in passing, dialogue about the flowers in the garden and his laying deeply in their bed, remembered?

Are we choosing to stand in the world forgetting the things that make us great or give us joy? Is it a choice to forget, like it is a choice to remember? That is, some things at certain times remembered.

September 11th came and went so fast this year. I did not remember anything of it except, I turned on the TV and the Today Show mentioned shortly that one teacher in a small school in somewhere unfamiliar is following the curriculum guide for a study of the memorial. I looked at the date on the bottom of the screen. September 11th. I turned the TV off. The day progressed as normal, with me in and out of gratefulness and forgetfulnesses.

So many years later, and though I have chosen to forget briefly, those whom lost someone dear are still reaching, still creating curricula, still fighting daily. I chose not to forget the days when I lost one thing substantial, but neglect remembering a day when hundreds lost their lives and hundreds more lost a friend or neighbor, brother or sister, daughter, son. I forget life’s uncertainty, by choice, so I can accomplish those things I think important right now. Sleeping late. It’s the weekend, and turning the TV on at 11:00 am. Off at 11:15 as soon as I am uninterested. Important?

Sometimes taking a moment to consciously remember is the best thing we can do. We can choose to remember that we are giants and that life is real and God supportive. Or, we can choose to forget and stand a chance at little glances of someone else’s glorious experience and response. We can wait for the TV to tell us what is important or we can decide what is, before the 11:00 news.

Is that really an option. Sit in silence, not just for the dead but for the living, of life. Go now…

Sat Ra

Namaste.

On the Reading of Spiritual Texts

2010-09-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

Romans 9:1, in the Bible, is the beginning of Paul’s truthful confession to fight others’ battles, if he could. It is true, he shares, I would disconnect from Christ for you. In the Bavagavad Gita, a classic Indian text, Arjuna speaks to Krishna about the fight in which he must participate in against his people. It is a fight for a greater cause. Arjuna pleads with Lord Krishna, hopeful that just maybe there is a way out of this torrent. There is not. There is in neither culture, or time a choice now, we must fight the battle to contribute to the greater cause. A cause and glorious and victorious battle, we do not fully know the intricacies, of awaits each day. What a sweet deal we have.

When I wake in the morning, I say a quick prayer. I take a moment to feel what my rest has left behind. I feel the energy in and around me and breathe into spots that are out of spiritual alignment. This feels like my life. Everything I do and say, I feel it my choice. If I neglect to consider the who of my belonging, I can get through a whole day feeling like I am my own.

It is tricky to consider this life is to be lived for someone or something else. And yet, the reality of that thinking is that some how, in order to live life, I must be prepared. On a very subtle level this preparation comes through our food, activities, and rest. But the real preparation for this life of God’s, comes through the reading and studying of spiritual texts.

In the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, a life practice of devotion is the path to Samadhi (Enlightenment), Isvara Pranidanam it is called. That is, the doing of everything with the right attitude in service to the world at large. This egoless challenge is not one for wimps. And though it would a gift to receive complete understanding of how this is accomplished through osmosis, it is in the seeking that we find the answer.

Watching Kill Bill, Vol.2 today, a personal favorite, the protagonist is buried alive. The script takes us immediately to a glorious flashback of her sacrifice to gain her master’s respect and further, his ferocious teachings. At one point, she relentlessly punches at a couple-inches-thick piece of wood. Her hands crippled, she quivers to pick up her rice with her chopsticks. However the lesson shows itself vital as she punches her way out of the grave.

If years ago, I had not completed a yoga teacher training, I would not know where to begin. I would continue reading the Bible and as God promises, succeed. I do believe the Bible to hold the lessons and tools to prepare us for this career. I do not believe that it is the only means nor the most exciting for today‘s readers. I have included and will continue to updates on the right hand margin of my blog page books that have guided my understanding. If these do not suit you and you are desperately seeking your armor, I encourage you not to rest until you have reached boldly out to a person whom is growing in light. I place my stamp of guarantee that this person is reading something or has read something that will give you a glance in the direction you need to go.

What you do with the book once you have it is more important than the gathering of the crop. It is imperative to study it. Don’t just read, take notes. Highlight the pages if the book belongs to you. This might be a pleasurable read, but that is not your focus. And the goal, is to fight with egoless service, effectively. If these books are to be the “how to battle the enemy” manuscript, they must be referenced often and then with that, the true work begins. The keeping of words in your heart is done through putting the words to work through our actions.

Yoga is not just about asana (postures). That is fun…even if you can’t do them. They are fun even to watch others attain. The true posture of yoga is in our 24 hour life actions, not a one to three hour class. True yoga is the sacrifice and devotion of must, and this combat is the biggest one we will ever know. This enemy, our situation or attitude…, which we soothe our knickers considering so far away, lurks and waits to bury us alive.

Burning Memories

2010-08-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

I have been contemplating lately what is the kindest way to deal with old journals. I have a stack of them littering my closet. To call them litter, I have to consider what they mean to me. After years of negative self talk and negative interpretations of my experiences, I now feel the need to burn them. Do I burn the aspects of myself they appear to be holding me back from? Is it even viable that keeping them is keeping me heavy and the growth I readily look for light, above my head and out of reach? If that is the case, I want to torch them tonight!! But how do I know for sure? Lyrics and scripture come to my head, ”Bag Lady” or “Let it Go”, “…Building up treasure that rusts and a thief can steal…. ”

When I cut my locks I had the same attachment anxiety. It took a hurtful experience for me to see that I emotionally needed them, along with the memories they held, gone. However gone they are from my head, I’ve held on to them for creative inspiration, making a sort-of sun out of them and hanging them on my inspiration wall. Is this holding me down too? What are they inspiring here?

So what with the journals? I think about being able to reread what has happened and I don’t want to. I think about how I’ve dealt with things in the past, and I am not always proud. I understand the saying “You can’t know where you’re going, unless you know where you came from”, but throughout my ethereal travels, I think I see where I am from just fine, and where I am headed, that is not entirely up to me.

This decision is a blog because I would love feedback, but more importantly, cause I know we are all busy, I blog out of a pure need to confirm for myself as loudly as possible and put into writing, some where I can't take it back, that when I am gone, I will be gone and those that know me will have only that to hold. Holding on to things, does not make you light.

Burning my journals, if this is the way I am going, though I'm still unsure, will leave my son with just his memories and I know what that is like. The clarity of memories, though last longer than people do, fade with time. Would my journals give him something to grasp, some piece of me? Would it even help, especially when, in my here and now, keeping them might be holding me sedentary?

Sat Ra
Namaste.

video of my journals and inspiration wall

Setting Goals For The Focus

2010-07-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

Folly Beach

I am continuously learning more about myself through the ebb and flow of my practice. I learn about the physical aspects of myself. My psoas and hip flexors are tight. My hamstrings continue to lengthen every practice and my core gets stronger. I learn about my aptitude to quit when I get challenged. The standing poses always give me a run for my money and I have to decide to keep going, every time. I learn about my emotion and when the stretches have built up in just the right way, I learn how to relax and release. I learn that letting go is a series of steps, not one thought and pouf; rather, many thoughts about where I am and where I am headed and how I will get there.

Whether I know it or not, every yoga class I give and even get, has a focus. When I think up the class myself, I concentrate harder on the goals that will render the focus reachable. However, when I am receiving a class, the process is akin to going on retreat or to church and not really knowing how the speaker will get me to my destination. In this case, I take the time to set my own goal, maybe several, even though I am not always sure of their focus. I let the unfolding happen to me, as opposed to creating the whole, I allow the whole to be created with my goals at heart.

Several months ago, I went to an “Open heart” yoga conference. Sounds almost like a doctors' convention. It was a surgery of the thoughts in and of the heart to address the mind and actions that spring out of being. I realized that practicing, though fun and my initial goal, was not the real goal at all. Though I did practice for hours at a time, it was the person next to me that continued to talk that became a goal to having an open heart. It was the talks before the class that rendered the practice lovable. The goal was getting all I could, not just from my practice on the mat, but for life. The goal was observing what I was thinking, how and why I am thinking this or that and somehow, over the course of one weekend, I created a new goal almost every couple hours. At the end of each day and especially after I had a chance to integrate the learning from the trip, I realized, off the mat, I was meeting the goals of the focus-- to open my heart in as many ways as possible.

When events approach me, I see my yoga in a light that appears stronger then before. Going to Philadelphia or going to a Yoga conference, even starting to work full time again, allows me a look at my goals and my focus. However these events allow to me observe what I am doing, I realize that this goal-and-focus play need happen all the time. Consistent work is diligence. If I chose to show up occasionally, I probably forget my lines when the lights are on or forget to connect with the crowd. The goal is to show up, create and observe where I am every day in order to make my focus a reality. If I do not set myself up for the focus with a series of goals, my psoas is too tight to do hanamanasana (splits) and my core is not strong enough to do ardha mukha vrksasana (handstands) and if I attempt, I will hurt myself. I must prepare the lesson to support the focus and pillage through the forest of myself in order to get to the other side.

Create goals that facilitate opening to your focus. If my focus is to be a writer, then my goal must be to write often, attempt and publish work, read other works…. If my focus is to be a great yogi or yogini then I must practice daily, my asana, meditation, and pranayam (breathwork)…. I must go to practice with others whom know more than me. I must uncover my yoga through reading spiritual texts and experiencing life with an ever opening heart. I must experience the ebb and flow into my true self, and with diligence.

Sat Ra-
Namaste.

Hand and Feet Connection

2010-06-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

What is the way to the self? This path appears so often muffled with rubbish. In this dream-life, between space and time, between breaths, how do you decide the options that are best to grow you where you want to go? Not unlike a flower, how do we lean toward the sun? Do we follow the voice in our heads or the voice in our hearts? Do we follow one voice one minute and then in the next the other, moving between the two alternately?

It is most important, I have read and believe, that all the options in each moment leave us inclined to listen to the heart and head and yield to the one that makes us most like ourselves. The choice to not or to do, however, does not define us but rather, refine us. It is in the culmination of our life choices, the seemingly good and bad choices, that we glimpse, in our responses and reactions, how each situation changes us. And in that, is there ever a good or bad choice? These are not new revelations or questions, I know. These are the thoughts of many, of many eras, from conscious and subconscious thinkers-- human being perceptions.

So where does God fit in to this listening? Where does he rest or sound off? One might immediately think: where else would he be but the heart? But in questioning that thinking, for even a moment, I am left with thoughts of God everywhere and in everything. I am left with the “good” things that come into my mind amidst the garbage and the “bad” things that come out of my heart, the desires that lead to passionate, hurtful expressions, to myself and others.

The Divine must be everywhere, true. Find Him, we must, and heal from that awareness. Heal from listening and responding to the higher calling within every aspect of ourselves, our feet if that is where it is to be found. And there it is, as it always is.

It is the feet and hands, just to name a fundamental couple, in yoga, that through deep awareness, connect us to God. Every asana has a base. This base most often consists of the hands and feet; though, the midsections, belly or back, head… could be foundational as well, most often it is the hands and feet. This is no coincidence. Like animals, on the physical plane, we hold our place in the world with our feet and as a specific type of animal, procure with our hands, receive and give. On the spiritual plane, we reach into the earth and sky with both feet and with hands grasp energetic currents. Through Mudra yoga, we send prayers or choose a focus, all with the hands. With our toes spread, we create a more profound grasp on this focus. These ideas travel through more than two planes. These ideas travels through our essence. It is, without option, more in depth than I can get in words, and unavoidably a piece of the way, an avenue of the path. Our extremities are the physical show of the heart and head. They are often forgotten characters in our show that reveal what we are standing on and for, as well as, display our giving and receiving in and to the world.

This month and along this life journey, it is incessant that we view it all. Expose the “troubles” and deal with them. We must use our connection to meter our responses and refine. The more sensitive we become to our connection to Source the better our responses will be. Here are some relatively, quick refocusing and connecting techniques using the hands and feet.

The bigger questions will still remain. But with the switch always on, the questions and choices that follow will represent you and your Divine seamlessly. With time and space….

Technique #1 for the feet
Standing or sitting look down at your feet. Focus your attention on your feet, how they turn in or out. Focus on the weight distribution and how the outer and inner edges of your feet respond to your weight.

(If you are sitting, the weight of your legs is more than enough to allow you a keen sense.) Observe.

Next, roll forward on your toes and back on your heels, feel. Roll your feet onto their outer edges and then inner edges, feel. Lift your toes and attempt (this is not easy) to place one toe at a time back down on the ground. This should spread your toes and place then firmly with intention into the ground. This is essentially a vinyasa, which means moving with intention.

Close your eyes now. Balance your weight evenly between the four corners of your feet. Big toe to pinky toe, inner edge of your heal to the outer. Breathe here and recognize the grounding effect of your vinyasa.

Technique #2 for the hands

Sit cross legged on the floor placing your hands on your knees, palms down. Close your eyes. Feel your hands on your knees, their weight and placement. Breathe 8-10 slow, focused breaths with your focus on your hands.

Then, keeping your eyes closed, place your hands on your heart, one on top of the other. Feel the connection between your hands and heart. Feel your heart beat against your hands. Take 8-10 breaths here focusing intently on your hands and heart.

Finally and slowly, place your hands in Anjali mudra, (prayer position) and let your head fall down to meet the tips of your middle fingers at your third eye chakra, (the space between your eyebrows). Inhale and exhale , 8-10 breaths, focusing on your head, heart and hand connection. Locate gratitude for God’s presence in all.

Be Scrutinized!

2010-05-18T18:13:00.000-07:00

It is not easy to share a truth or to see it, especially when someone else is sharing what they see in us. Yet, when we see a truth in someone else, it is evident. It is a bag of bad apples seen from all the way across the grocery store. However, as soon as you open to the truth in life, in others, and see their faults, you must be ready for others’ scrutiny as well. In most recent years, to scrutinize/ to be scrutinized implies a negative interpretation. However, this is the call of true change. To let one know what is seen, when conscious and walking in grace and compassion, and then allowing someone to share the same.

Truthfully, we can not change alone. We were not designed to see the full spectrum of ourselves clear enough to change in this way. Though it would be nice to have people present truths in “nice” ways, “haters”, to use young vernacular, are just as helpful. We must be able to look into someone else’s eyes and words and see what we are unable to see in our own mirrors. We must be able to hear God, his angels, a guru and whomever else he chooses to use. Moreover, we must be willing to listen when the message is not loud and clear. It is when God is silent that we must trust his presence and begin to here the quiet message.

Recently, when at a modeling experience, an artist asked if I was ok with pictures. I am ok with pictures, and he took many, all of which he showed me afterwards. As he spoke to me about the why’s of his picture taking, he said one thing that stands out to me now. “The digital camera makes light choices that I would not make.” This is an idea that I had not considered. If ever I had taken a picture of myself that was just not right, I assumed that I was just not right. I had made the wrong face or caught the wrong angle. It is true though that our eyes, cameras, voice recordings and ears do not fully encapsulate who we are visually or vocally. It is true that we can never really see or hear how beautifully we have been made.

I personally struggle with the community-change idea because I am not an avid church go-er and as soon as one starts a conversation about God, truth and collective change most congeal that to take place within and under the guidance of a Church “body”. For years, starting with my mother’s death, I have made use of the spirit bodies, family-- blood and other, and friends that have entered my life at the times they were ordained. With gratitude, most of the time, though it may have taken me more than months, years even, to get the message, I was allowed, as we all are, an opportunity to see who I am and make adjustments.

On my mother’s birthday, 2 years ago , I began a new life. I had been headed here for some time, as we are all headed somewhere, and on May 6th, 2008, I finally felt my new feet. I was not happy with what was happening in my personal life and it was at that time that I was allowed a meeting with the very “body” that influences who I am now. I think I will leave that story for another time, but I lay myself open with honesty and to your scrutiny because it is the way of love. Loving the evitable change that comes out of the inside is how I become more like the light that I am. Loving myself and others enough to listen and share is how communities change. It is how the world changes.

Being open to the truth that is presented, however it is presented, shows receptivity, someone ready to deal with the who’s and why’s and be courageous. This is not an easy task. This is where techniques learned in prayer, mediation and yoga practice place themselves eloquently into our lives. When we yell and scream at the process and the presenter we neglect the who’s and why’s. Our response leaves us weak, not strong as one might assume and appear, but instead caught in our egos, in our body, missing the message and destined to repeat the circle again. When we are butchered and allow God’s quiet guidance to usher in His message, spiritual will and courage allow us to see the truth of ourselves; allow us to see the sour space on the grocery store shelf that we inhibit.

If someone attempts to tell you about who you are, listen. If that person is willing to stick their neck out to also be scrutinized, let us all grow together. Anger and frustration are the quickest ways to impinge upon a metamorphosis. If you are immediately angry, discover if you are angry because they are overstepping a boundary you have created to protect yourself from the pain associated with change or if what they’ve presented is so true that it hurts. Either way, change is on the horizon, now or later and there is a truth in everything, whether we want to accept it or not. One never escapes their karma.

I pray us all the right eyes to look into and through and open hearts and ears with which to receive truth. Sat Ra, Namaste.

healing hands pranayama.avi

2010-04-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

healing pranayam prt2.avi

2010-04-21T05:48:00.000-07:00

healing hands pranayama prt 3.AVI

2010-04-21T05:47:00.000-07:00

pranyama for cleansing and soothing

2010-04-21T05:01:00.000-07:00

This Pranayama is explained in three short videos (poor editing on my behalf). Watch all three-- each one is no more than a couple minutes, and learn a new breathing technique accompanied with movement to sweep the stale energy out of your temple and bring fresh prana (vital energy) in.

In the 3rd video, my hands move out of the video. Just so you are clear about what my hands are doing, I will give some explanation.

Begin with your hands at your heart, (Anjali mudra), bring your hands up together through the midline on your inhale. Bring your hands down to your sides on your exhale. Inhale them back up above your head, inhale. Here, interlace your fingers without letting your palms touch, so opening your palms toward the floor, exhale as you press the prana gathered in. Straighten your arm at the bottom of your exhale and with fingers still interlaced, press your palm away from you. Sweep out all stale energy (apana) on your inhale. Release your fingers above your head and exhale as your hands part ways and flow down to your sides. Inhale they move back up above your head, where palms press together, (Anjali mudra). Exhale your hands back to your heart.

Repeat this sequence for 3-5 minutes. Then, rest in the soothing embers of the tapas (heat) you have created.
Enjoy.

Pauses Between Breath

2010-04-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

I antar kumbaka (1) with breath out
American Style
But as smooth as I can
Muster in inhale in
Breath and hands
Of movement ethereal
I lift aura
Find I glow
Fill God presence
That throws red and white
Flowers into me
Touch my face and melt
I exhale
Antar Kumbaka
A vision of walking on ground
Of gray sponge
Walk Strong
Spring up to a firm
Destiny ahead
Through Antar Kumbaka
Connections to the Ultimate
Reality others would never underst
-and
And I have no need to justify
It is mine
Breath Natural
I am bright yellow and red
I see me full to the temple
Edges
My eyes are closed
But the scene viveka (1)
My hands move through the dark
Through mudra
Not because I feel them
I see bone of left arm
Muscle
Flat lines of spectrum color
I draw across my eyelids
With my palm sweep
I step out
I radiate
To tears joy and back
Proud.

1. Sanskrit phrase for pauses between the breaths. Many pranayama exercises emphasis the space between breath as where we meet God or ourselves most clearly.
2. Sanskrit word meaning clear vision. It is said that with this vision you will no longer demand apologies or explanations.

Drishti Focused

2010-03-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

Drishtis Everywhere-

What would you focus on here?

How much can you see past what is right in front of you? The truth is that most of us barely see outside our own eyes. We see what we perceive inside and stop there. We find a truth that sits well in front of us, that is beautiful or pleasing, and we decide that to be our reality.

Freedom is not found in the hiding. True liberation is found in accepting truths. Dealing with fantasy does not give us deep insight but rather misperception.

To uncover the truth, one must begin by bringing awareness outside and up, past the manifestations of the mind. This can be done with a drishti. A drishti is a focal point. It can consist of a thought (mantra) or a spot/ space (chakra/ 6 inches or so in front of you). A drishti can even manifest as an object (mala beads).

A drishti is a tool to maintain a focus. The key to using the drishti, to excite reality, is in being conscious of the mind fluctuations (citti). As in ballet or still modeling "spotting", the drishti helps the participant to quiet the unnecessary movements of the mind, thus the body and the fantasy fade. We realize, with a drishti, we are not the body container. We are not the fantasy we create. It is with the drishti that we sway from reality. We lie to ourselves and others. We scream of insecurities, inadequacies and anxieties that swell from the mind.

To be sure of your truth, to see past your eye lids, we must be sure to find a positive drishti in every moment. I have found positive dristhis everywhere: Jesus, Buddha, a spot on the floor, "om", "love never fails", conversations, the look in an eye, a smile... I could go on. I use them constantly, meditating constantly. When I am focused, there is ease.

If I focus on hating my job or a particular happenstance, my truth is altered. The truth is past my thinking and beyond me. That truth, which is me, reveals that I am protected always. I am loved constantly. I am full of light and surrounded by light. I am clear. My intentions are clear....if I can tap into my vibration of truth I can see beyond the slide show presentations of the mind. The truth is so much easier to deal with in life. Fantasy only leads to another fallacy.

50 million Meditations

2010-02-25T10:06:00.000-08:00

Art by Courtney Rohan

There are 50 million ways to do any one thing, if you consider it long enough. I’ve read and received training for at least a million of the existing 50 million meditations and still there are more ways to calm, energize, ground, uplift and love my spirit through meditation. Sitting meditations are the prime picture of meditation, however, depending on their intent, mediation can be done standing, walking and more importantly, constantly. Meditation is a practice that can be done anywhere and anytime. Life is your practice field.

Sitting for artists, I hit a wall. Not literally but rather, I hit the kind of wall where I begin rocking slightly forward and back, side to side a little. I can’t stop blinking. I wonder if they are getting a good enough vision of me. Are they seeing my struggle? Are they painting it?

I take a deep breath. It soothes me. I am able to sit through the next ten minutes, before the break, without shakes. I am able to fall into the space behind my eyeballs, even though my eyes must remain open. I am not thinking of anything too much. I am breathing. I am being. I am here. They sound for a break and for a moment I can not move. I have begun to commune. Truthfully, I don’t need a break.

Before giving any Thai Yoga Massage, I meditate. This means I bring my consciousness to a place of sub- consciousness. I remove myself, my thoughts, my feelings. I sweep them away or watch them flow out with my breath. I breathe in my focus and let go of control. I don’t think about all this now, the way I used to. It does not take long. I breathe into my space slowly. I exhale slowly. I thank my guides and teachers and when I am absolutely clear, I touch the human-spirit in front of me.

Truly though, there was a time when I could not quiet myself. I was so caught up in ME. I couldn’t let ME go even for a minute. What I’ve learned is that I don’t have to resist me because as soon as I do, I am back in my own mind hitting the walls that prevent me from focusing on being present.

If you have ever attempted to meditate or have been told anything about the process, I am sure you have heard that it is best in the morning or at night before bed. You have been told that you should think about nothing while you sit. You should count your breath or repeat a word or phrase (mantra, I‘ll explain later). This is not bad advice but I want to share with you a truthful place to begin. No one is a master of anything just from reading or hearing about it. As humans, it is our dharma (duty) to experience. Each experience we encounter begins. We have to begin somewhere.

I suggest for the very newcomer that you chose a time that suits your space. This could be on the bus, for a minute, closing your eyes and being. Walking through the parking lot before entering a store, where you’ve parked far enough away from the door so that you have a moment to tune in. Sitting briefly before your food, maybe after you’ve prayed and breathing in the scent of your food, feeling your want and letting it go before you begin. Your space could be a chair or the floor with your back against the wall and your bottom on some pillows. May you lay down, as long as you are sure you will not use this as an opportunity for a nap. If you exercise, maybe you mediate while you are running or pumping your feet on the stationary bike. I personally have always found my deepest meditations happen after a yoga class, after having had a chance to move through all my personal stuff, physically, maybe even emotionally.

Let me go back briefly and explain tuning in. Tuning in is a term often used in the world of spirit (not what most of us see but rather what we feel, our connection inside and outside of our bodies). Tuning in means to listen. Mediation is tuning in. If you are familiar with prayer, this is also a type of tuning in. However, prayer is tuning in to your surface-self in order to generate a thought-felt explosion of gratitude to God and possibly to ask for help. Mediation is tuning your spirit/ vibration to God’s to listen. Though prayer and mediation can be, but are not always, interchangeable, we must do both intentionally. We must tune in, empty out and fill up.

The idea of listening is one that also caters to the meditations using mantra. Mantra, similar to affirmations but not always the same, are words or phrases that encourage change. These statements are repeated in meditation, often, with use of the breath. For example, breathing in “Peace”, breathing out “All that does not serve me”. This is not a phrase you say aloud necessarily. It is my experience that saying mantra aloud, when I am focused on breathing in and out specific concepts, leaves me easily distracted. However, for someone meditating with focus on mantra itself, such as the repetition of “Sat Nam” (I am truth) or “Om” (God connected sound in all), though you are inhaling and exhaling the whole time, that is not the focus. So, saying these words aloud is not such a distraction for me here. I also find this repetition of mantra easier with Mala beads (Indian necklace or bracelet containing 108 beads). This way, I follow the beads, and with this tool, I am able to say 108 mantras (108 is an number auspicious number in the Indian culture) without having to keep conscious track of the counting.

There are, as I mentioned, 50 million other ways to create mediations. You can create your own, making sure that you are breathing in newness, change, and positive thought. The in breath can be used for inhaling “Peace”, the out breath, exhaling “Peace”, or you can use your exhale to release toxins or negativity. You can even use Mala beads to repeat terms that usher you back to yourself. That is the purpose of this.

I could write 50 million blogs on mediation but I won’t. It is in the experience that we learn how to meditate. We learn what works for me is not what works for all. And then, one day, like my yoga teacher once told me, “you find yourself doing headstand in the middle of the room” without the wall to anchor. You find yourself sitting for a length of time, comfortable, not needing a break.

This is an instrument of healing. If you chose to give someone something, i.e. Thai Yoga Massage, but really anything, meditation is a practice of clearing that will allow you to bring Metta (Thai term for unconditional love) through your hands. If you find, through mediation, that your internal space is messy, it is a good idea to clean it up before you go any further. Rest in knowing that you must heal yourself before you can heal another. It is good… Sat Ra, Namaste.

Art by Alex Powers

Model, Courtney Rohan

February Healing Hands #2

2010-02-15T14:33:00.000-08:00

Thai Yoga Massage Intro

Thai Yoga Massage is an ancient healing art. Learn more about it here. Watch the intro and clips to get a sense of what it is and then follow the still pics (to be posted soon) to enjoy giving something special to a friend. Sat Ra Namaste.

Thai Yoga Massage Intro

Thai Yoga Massage Clips

Surya Namaskar Variation

2010-01-14T10:55:00.000-08:00

                1. Tadasana / Mountain Pose
                 with Anjali Mudra (Prayer hands)
                 Start with the feet together.
                       Evenly distribute your weight.
Ground down through your feet by tucking your tailbone under and pressing all four corners of  your feet into the earth. Length the crown of the head up toward the sky. Open your heart by rolling your shoulders back and down.

2.Extended Mountain/ Upward Salute with backbend
On your inhale, lift your hands above your head keeping your arms in line with your ears. Be conscious of your lower ribs so they do not stick out; draw them in. Remain grounded through the feet.

3.Uttanasana/ Forward Fold
Exhale. Fold forward from the hips. Touch the earth. Feel free to gently bend the knees if the back of the legs are tight. Allow the back of your neck to be long by tucking your chin slightly.

4.Ardha Uttanasana/ Half Forward Fold
Inhale. Raise the head and look forward being careful to keep the neck long as you do. Hold on the shins lightly and flatten your back. Press the sitting bones (butt bones) back and lenghten the spine forward.

(Revisit) 5.Uttanasana
Exhale. See above for instructions

6.Kumbhakasana/ Plank Pose
Hold the breath. Press into the full length of your fingers so as not to put too much stress on the wrists. Extend the spine through the crown of the head and push back through your heels while tucking the tailbone under.

7. Modified Chaturanga Dandasana/ Modified Staff Pose
Exhale. Bring your knees, chest and chin to the earth. Keep your sitting bones/ butt bones in the air. Find length in the neck by keeping your shoulders back and drawing your elbows into the body.

8.Bhujangasana I/ Cobra Pose
Inhale. Press your hands firmly into the floor and feel as if you are dragging your hands back towards your chest. This will allow you to lift your heart. Spread your fingers. Draw your shoulders down your back and press the entire top of your feet into the earth. Lengthen your spine and feel your neck an extension of it.

9.Adho Mukha Svanasana/ Downward Facing Dog
Exhale. Press into your whole hand into the earth and slightly grip the floor with your finger tips. Press your sitting bones/ butt bones back into the space behind you. Relax your neck down while lengthening the spine. Melt your heart back toward your thighs. Press your heels down toward the earth. It is ok if they do not come all the way to the ground.

10.Ashva Sanchalanasana/ High Lunge/ Virabhadrasana I prep
(right leg )

Inhale as you step your foot back. Press through the heel of the extended leg and feel your leg move away from the floor. Extend through the crown of your head and lengthen your spine.

-Follow directions above for the poses shown below. Be sure to breathe as directed-

(Left Leg)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6Ku9MoCPyk

Surya Namaskar Explained

2010-01-14T09:55:00.000-08:00

Please Read Before Going Further

Surya Namaskar is known as “Sun Salutations”. A direct translation is "laying prostrate to worship the Sun." Surya Namaskar is a Sanskrit term. The process was originally used to worship the Hindu Sun god and therefore, the most auspicious time to practice Sun Salutations is in the morning, usually between 5 and 6 o’clock, as that is when the sun is rising. However, I find Sun Salutations at the beginning of a practice heating and limbering and often do them to lift my vibration when I can not fit in a whole 1-2 hour practice. They are also a great tool to promote focus during meditation helping to work the movement out of your body in order to allow sitting for a length of time.

These salutations generally consist of 10-12 poses. Here, I have varied a beginners sequence to not only get us familiar with the poses but also to make this sequence fun for all. If you are interested in the more formal beginning sequence and would rather learn that first, watch the video to see the poses and then follow the still pics, as they are laid out in a more standard Sun Salutation form.

This is an opportunity for you to build to harder sequences, acclimate your body, move, and it is most fitting to introduce at the beginning of our learning. Surya Namaskar should be done on a daily basis. Be sure to do both sides, which means that you should step back with the right foot, for example, and step back with the other foot on the second round. This evens the energies in the body and will prevent you from feeling lopsided, overly aggressive or too sensitive, among other things. For further verification, when you watch the video, I step back with the right foot to a lunge. I go through the sequence hitting both legs for a lunge in the middle and then at the end, I step up with my left foot. So at the beginning and at the end, I end with my left foot forward. When you do the other side, start by stepping back with the left foot and then at the end stepping forward with the right.

One last thing you must know about Sun Salutations before I let you try, they are most importantly done with the breath and the breath should dictate the movement. This is hard for many to understand in their bodies, but it is possible. You inhale and move. Then, you exhale with the next pose, with only one exception. This exception is when the breath is held between Plank and Chataranga (push up position). The rest of the poses are flow efficient, meaning you should breathe (inhale/ exhale) with each pose.

I believe that all people can do Sun Salutations. I had read that pregnant women should not partake, but movement is good for the pregnant body, so use your awareness. If you are pregnant and your doctor has told you not to lay on your stomach, do not do cobra pose. If you are familiar with Upward facing Dog, feel free to go there (depending on your trimester) or skip it all together coming to a table top position and pressing back to down dog, as shown in the video.

I will post some other variations of Sun Salutations later, but let’s start here. Have fun building movement and heat in the body.

Sat Ra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTfdKEwrQcY

Duality

2010-01-05T18:16:00.000-08:00

Traveling my own path all of a sudden, I am inspired to realize how much of me was not me prior. I was working so hard to grow into something, I did not recognize, I already was. And yet, it is true, I am nothing. I am not sure how that works. Am I switching back and forth dangerously between being something and nothing? That sounds dangerous. It reminds me of a Bible verse where Jesus explains how we can not be both hot and cold. We can not be in one friends yard and at the same time in another, unless by chance we are sitting on the fence seriously hurting our genitalia. In that case, I’d say, it is physically dangerous. However serious I may be, when I think about the vast intricacies of God, nothing is all I am and yet with God, I am something.

I watch. Fully absorbed in the scenes, I gather the heavy energies I have been working hard to dispel all day, and watch. A novice yoga student has traveled all over New York and India per the yogini director, looking to locate enlightenment and understand the makings of Yoga. I am immediately debunked by the people this novice has no idea he is meeting. These are the people I wish to meet. To be honest, he meets people I wish to be. As I watch, my Netflix connection coming and going so often I am left with time to think about what is happening inside myself, while it is buffering, I find myself happy to be experiencing someone else’s confusion. Someone else’s uncertainty.

I watch until the credits, hoping I can reach out to the director and tell her that I am grateful but Google only takes me so far. I am left with a blank piece of computer paper on the screen of my laptop and a jumble of thoughts on which to reflect. I have been practicing yoga for 7 years now. My practice has been inconsistent as far as asana goes, so for the sake of clarity, let’s say, 6 years now. I love the way I feel after a good yoga class. I love the way I feel after I meditate. I even loved teaching yoga, when in subtle moments, I could locate my true self. I feel like something then, but it doesn’t stay. And I wonder, where it goes, hours after a yoga class when I am yelling at my son or crying about my hurt feelings? Sometimes I feel as though I have bound into a “United States of Tara” show staring myself. Transitioning in and out of my yoga-Courtney and my Life-Courtney, I wince at the b.s. in my mirror. I claim to have found what yoga is, claim it can help others. I suppose the most I can say about this fence of sorts is that I know what I love and what I don’t.

I did not always feel this sure about what I am affectionate about or what repulses me. I am not sure how I have come to know either. Is it yoga? Is it the asana, sweat and tears of a yoga class, and the meditation that have carried me to understanding something about my little/big self? Or simply, God? Can it be both entities, must I choose a side now too? I have learned about my God during yoga classes. I have even felt a deeper connection to him on my mat. Opting not to attend church but rather some asana appareled class. I know that I love God, though often I have stuttered to not sound fanatical in front of people opting to call Him “Universe” or “Higher Consciousness”. Justifying my passivity, I raise my hand in favor of politically correct. I do not want to scare anyone away from my class. They would come or not, they came sometimes, sometimes not. I was still left with a self that wanted so badly to be liked and so lost.

Growth, even in inconsistencies is possible. I am a true believer in the religion that admits we must never quit quitting. I did that for years with cigarettes and all the while I felt like a cheater because I was so stressed about not knowing who I really was after a yoga class, I craved a cigarette to take the edge off. A cigarette or maybe a little weed. I stood in my best friends yard crying about the lawn I wanted to be standing on. I wanted desperately to locate my own lawn, my home. I felt awakened to my abduction. How had I been blindfolded and gagged for so long without starving? All the tools I had could not suffice the goal. Church was a show. Yoga was a show. I was a star and yet, I was nothing.

I hope every day that I am past this… and by this, I mean all the self defeating energies that I am. I hope that my third eye relaxes into a peaceful forehead and serene eyes. I imagine kundalini rising up my sushumna and light pouring out of my crown. This light of me so profound, I need sunglasses to deal with my glare. I imagine myself speaking of God to everyone and not seeming like some weird zealous crazy. I don’t feel comfortable in church raising my hands and feeling God in the air because someone has told me to, but I do feel comfortable lifting my hands toward the ceiling in the Yoga studio knowing that God is all around me and in me, feeling like I am something with him and not a body in a pool of people moving because they have been told to stand when the music is playing. I am not against church. I like it sometimes. Sometimes, I need it. So I am not sure what this duality leaves me, if I am not to be warm. I can say very honestly and dearly, that I am watching myself, on the outside of myself, doing Yoga, respecting life and dialoguing with and about God, in all his glory, while I am in mine.

Healing Hands Intro

2010-01-05T04:46:00.000-08:00

“Healing Hands” maybe a touch on someone else’s territory. I am using the name that came to me when I decided to share my life practices with those of you whom may find it helpful or interesting.

Ok, so…. Let’s get started. First things first, watch the “Healing Hands” intro. It will give you a chance to see first hand what I am attempting to create for and with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jA-JQIZWjQo

It is important that all I am doing and saying be educational. I do not expect to always have the answers but I will not say things I do not understand. If by chance I say something that you do not understand, leave me a comment and I will get back to you.

Since I know everyone reading is not a yogi or yogini (male/female person whom practices yoga), “Sat Nam” is something you just heard me say (if you watched the videoJ). “Sat Nam” means “I am truth”. This is not about ego. This is about sitting in the chair that belongs to you. Whatever you do, you are.

“Namaste”, another word I say often, means “I bow to you”. I bow to the beauty of you, your truth and divine essence. Since you are me and I, you, I bow to myself in you. Too much?

These words may seem like fluff, but if we are to go anywhere together we must leave judgment and reticule behind. It is, in the sappy respectful phrases, that we drop the ideas that anyone is better than their sum. We leave behind the stuff that does not serve growth and we spiritually unfold.

I also use the term “Sat Ra”, a personal favorite. This means “I am the sun”. I like to close with this phrase. It reminds me that I am big, bright and beautiful.

I challenge you, as I continue to post “Healing Hands” in 2010, to use these phrases as well. You will find the level of respect that you have for yourself and those with which you say these things will flourish. So much begins with a word.

The first “Healing Hand” is coming soon. It is based on displaying various level Sun Salutations (I’ll explain later. You’ll be fine. Promise).

Enjoy all. Sat Ra Namaste.

2009-12-17T15:59:00.000-08:00

Can you find the bird?

I rub my back against the wall
Into the deeper recesses
Of muscle
My shoulders and back aching
For attention
Rocks hard in my back rocking
Up and down
Back and forth
Across the edge of the wall
And initially it feels good
Real good
Like cutting layers
Of past out of present
Clearing new ground
Pieces of history
Fall at the base of the wall
Some Great Wall falling
And the liberation of hundreds
Of thousands whose faces
Never saw this type of light

But it took years for the whole
Wall to crumble
Hitting pieces that refuse
To give light
I decide to write
My muscle-story
My history
Read scratches and carvings
On rock
Like tablet
Or ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic wall
And it is clear
As I write
Pieces tie themselves together
Words on top of words
For no one to read again
For me to burn in the sink
And wipe
The remnants of my history clear
Flush, tarry and watch
Like a city without walls
A spirit is nothing without it’s ruler
But what of its ruler
I am in the bathroom of my history
Squatting
Reaching for the paper of lack
Isolation
And childhood abandonment
Without a trace of stateliness

But I keep going
Rubbing this muscle memory
Wincing and trying to breath deep
Trying to hear myself
Going as deep as time will allow
Going as deep as I can
Before my son wakes
From his nap
And I hate to consider him an interruption
But I’ve never been here before
Never felt this on my own before
Never cried at what I did not see
But knew was there before
Outside of knowing
God is real

I keep going with hope
Words render freedom
Render release from my flesh
Leads to somewhere else
To places I recognize
And can write
And places
I never knew I’d been
I scratch
Write layers of myself
All for one question
Not an answer
A question
Led here
To this Great piece of wall
And one question
Minus some layers

“Who am I?”

I can not answer that question
But I feel it
I feel it so deep
Past the layers
That I immediately
Live it
Spirit it
And dive into it
Where I am able to hear beyond
What is actually said
To which piece is to come
Down next
To where ease is
Abundance and connection recline
And love resides.

And today, this morning
While my son sits next to me
Under the covers
I have spread on the floor
And plays his Nintendo
I pull out paper
And rub my right shoulder
And back against
The edge of the wall
It is easier now
Not because there are less
Knots to untangle
But because I love myself
And family
Enough to dig in
Know
Or at least discover
Questions
Without presumed interruptions
And today I hear
Clearly I hear
“Who is God?”

I can’t answer that either
But I feel Him
And I love it.

2009-12-16T13:56:00.000-08:00

I can no longer reach into my pocket
And pull out the contentment
Assumed of buying happiness
I recognize it
Not there
Nor does illusion last
When it comes
From the pocket of collection
There is no resolution
Buying away troubles
Money gone and bags full
I am not happy for anything
But a new outfit
I might wear once
Twice if I can buy new shoes to match
Each time
Worn out by this cadence

I am beat down by the humdrum
Of collecting nothings
Making them needs-wants
I distastefully swallow
Without so much as a gulp
It is easy to digest
Doing what everyone else is doing
When there exists a choice
To change the channel
The baby in Kenya
With flies on his food and face

How could we be so smothered
How have we lost our ability
To view truths without
A plan to change anything
But the channel
We have become a society
Engrossed in name
And heightened
Void of consequences
And reality
We have become trees without stumps
Clouds without buoyancy
Flat and drab
We have become tasteless
Full of way too many channels

Half Full? Half Empty? Two more days--

2009-12-15T08:44:00.000-08:00

Moving to South Carolina has put me in
Close proximity to nature
Noticing how roots grow
Squirrels bound tree to tree
Scratching upon the beauty
Of a Redwood
Natural canopies
The sound of water Soothing
Here I melt into Earth
Take root
To enjoy some beasts
Dogs some cats
Things I can pet or look at
Through glass
But squirrels
Their rapid movement
Well rodents
Make my toes curl
And not orgasmically
I am afraid
Of their claws and their teeth
Forcing me to consider
I have no idea of their next move
What tree they might wander to next
What branch they might slide down
To me
In South Carolina
When they jump from the branch
Hanging near my balcony
I am sure that one of them
Is not going to respect
The fact that I am human
That I am in charge
Of the makings of this earth
However indirectly
That they are not to fuck with me
When I am sitting on my balcony
Lacking the protection of glass
And the sound of water
Cause maybe then I would be able
To deal
But they don’t care where I sit
Frankly, or stand
Tree sag near my head and balcony
They fly and freeze
Then hyperactivate by
So I see them
And the worst part about seeing them
Besides their teeth and claws
They always stop to look at me
Or maybe it is just one squirrel
That keeps stopping to look at me
I find the shell of his nut on the landing
As I escape my apartment
Hold my hands over my head
Like rain is falling
The nut taken apart in such a way
I am sure he wishes for me to find it
Know that he is here to stay
No matter my propensity
I believe it
I believe he thinks he knows me
Which is even more alarming
When you have lost people you care about
And you believe in reincarnation
What if I am scared of a grandfather
Or aunt
What if I am scared of my own mother
And she only wants to say hi
Let me know that she is looking at me
As she hops
Skillfully from my balcony
Branch to a nearby tree
The sun catching her new body
Shaggy tail and beady eyes
And if this is true
I am happy that she is near
Though I wish God could have allowed me to entertain her in a softer stranger
I would have greatly appreciated the dog
Bushy tail billowing bark
The way it claws
I can not do anything
But run into the house
Shake off the sight
Hope I close the door quick enough
And when I turn around
I am alone.

2009-12-14T05:21:00.000-08:00

Light Under Tunnel

My sister’s fiancé began convulsing
“Huah”
She was not sure
Maybe he was mocking her
Tired of new twins sleepless nights
She asked him
What are you huah-ing for
But he was not there
“Huah” before he began growling
His brain removing this place
While his body found
Away to deal with the impact
Of tight jaws and trauma
Needing removal like dead limbs
Gangrene
Anyone is welcome to
A disease
The edge of a political-religious statement
Like late high school shootings Bomb laden terrorists
And the brainwashing
Brainstorming that goes into such events
Real life for everyone
Except the one shaking
Grunting, moaning, growling and pouf
Gone--
Calm back into the bed
We all sleep in together
New York City or DC
Back from black
And only God knows what place
Escaped
Cause if we could see
The convincing script
The point
Locate
The first word
Sound sparking fire
How marvelous an escape
When it is deep
And we have left others
To suffer
And you are revitalized
And situations are past
In convulsions or death
And if you were the escapee
The limb or the disease
You don’t even have to remember
Perfect.

Day 6

2009-12-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

My father likes to cut the mold off
Of deceased fruit.
A vegetable or two
Make dinner out of the dead
Leave just a bit of a piece of a food
A meal
He’ll brag
So little can produce so much
At least the whole bit wasn’t lost
He’ll pop into his mouth whatever is left
From a refrigerator
Gross for cleaning
Chew all
Swallow
Wishing he had more
Of the artifacts ripeness
Mushy and easy to swallow
More sweet
More flavorful he’ll say
He wishes he had more to share
You would not eat it anyway
You are glad you are the adult
You are now
No longer subject
To the granite lie countertops
Where knife meets mold
And the dead a little water
For clean allusions
You still appease him though
You love him
So you nod ok
Try to cut out
Your disgust.

2009-12-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking light cigarettes is not better for you--

I contemplate having more kids for my son
And somehow in my mind unjustifiable
Lay down
Push blood
Reopen wombs and space
Send down a being for my other being

People say such obscenities about an only child
Some which are witnessed
Others nightmared
Like running butt necked
Through the paternity ward looking for somewhere
To deliver

Nightmare down
In a book of comical atropism
Greek genius
Made only from a mother
Whose child wants her
To make him a god

Having a child for a child
Butt naked in a ward that doesn’t exist
LMAO
Screaming and hoping that the things
An only child must endure are fictional
For mine

Or reversible and that I am dreaming
When he knocks kids down at the bus stop
Or lets little girls push him down
Ringing their hands at him on the bus
Take his toy
Pussy!!

My resignation only more ok
Because I am inadequate
How come I can’t teach my son
That a baby sister or brother
Will not make life more fun
How come I can’t say it

Words are not enough to express
The makings of another child
Being brought
Into a once too many times broken being
To be broken by this
Beat town world

I can not stand for that again
I can not stand with an epidural
In my spine and my feet in stirrups
Bloody half of a gown waiting
For someone to stick their hand
In my pussy

Though the idea grand
Not big enough
For me to save one
Sacrifice the other
Give him hand-me-downs
Made-for-somebody-else insecurity

And though I will not alter the child
I will love him/her
I recognize the why of the making
Sitting in the pit
Of my son’s prescription for fun
Unfulfilled.

2009-12-11T03:48:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like water
I am told--
Here, is nothing unlike itself
Though I am searching for things
That might be like other things
I am looking for somethings
That do the samethings.
I have found that water
Is like nothing else
It is a primary color
Red only made of Red
Blue, Blue
Yellow, Yellow.
It is in all nature
It is in all nature naturally
Not unlike the syrup of Maple Trees
Or the milk of cows
But it is in those that water is found
And when extracted
Leaves substances of powder
Like lifeless body
Ashes.
There is nothing like water
There is nothing else that we can
Not live without
With water we are
Clean
We are
Quenched, Full,
Purified, Baptized
Like John the Baptist
And Jesus
His body lifted
Like water to clouds
Rendering rain like talents
To those he chooses
The measure he chooses
The power that God has given water
Exceeding its bounds
Like floorless oceans
And condensation
Am I to believe
That we are really in control of this
As water rips and drowns
That God intended for one thing
Unlike any other one thing
To be this strong
Have such control
Without an intercessor--

2009-12-10T05:09:00.000-08:00

Bonus for Reading Day 3:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b801PrRcac

2009-12-10T04:12:00.000-08:00

He likes to dance
His dancing only including
Someone watching
He likes to be watched.
I am not sure he does it for the feeling
Of pure dancing
Like leaves in wind or hot water boiling.

Dancing without anyone paying attention
Is not worth the pay for him
And a glance is not enough
When he is rocking out rhythm-less
To “Beat It”.
I justify it--

“No one can do Michael like Michael could”.

But he is not great at dancing for others’ eyes.
If only he could privately like his spins and stomps
The feeling of the wind when he turns
Or his heart beat over boiling
The longer and harder he pounds.

He throws his hands in the air and sweat drips
Down the sides of his face
Dancing flats in ¾ time
And sharps in ½ time like waltz dances b-boy
And Jackson “Thriller”
If that’s possible.

And I find myself watching
He -- basking in the watching
Digging holes with his sneaks-
1-3 or 2-4 or some weird combination tempo
I watch
Not sure why.

Am I smiling at him
Or with him?
Am I going so far as to laugh at him?
Am I excited by his creativity the way I used to be
When I’d watch him at 2 ½ years of age?

At 5 ½, he craves attention
Dancing at attention
I want to tell him to stop
But I am unsure what that would do to him
I at least want to encourage him not to dance
In the aisles of Walmart and on the reader’s stage
In the Barnes and Noble bookstore.

But I don’t.

Does it matter why he dances?
Does it matter what the watcher thinks?
I believe he believes that he is doing IT
And BIG
Like Saturday nights and lights
And he is on the stage
Giving all he’s got for anyone’s attention

And there is just no motherly way
For me to "Beat it".

Day 2--

2009-12-09T03:29:00.000-08:00

It’s no wonder that today’s youth
Are obese or sickly-- I think--
As I walk as close to a variety
Of cars made big enough to hide
The wide array of weighties
Or malnourished stick figures
We keep feeding Tasty Cakes
And WHOLE fat milk
As a snack or for dinner
For their necks and bellies
Or the receptacle.
We expect them
Cardiovascular health
And GREAT skin
Yet the parking lots
Just keep getting bigger
And every intestinal pore
Facial pore
More filled with cars that hide
Our bodily harm and the lines
Often thought to designate space
Just keep getting wider
So as not to spill over the edges.

I am feeling
A rush to get to my car
I walk faster
I can and do
Beat out the 10- 20
Year olds who can
Barely drag their bellies
Under the appropriate
Spaces each shirt is made
To provide
No safe crevice
To occupy
In this parking lot
Every spot is gulped down
Like the security
Of food or a finger down a throat
The filling of the space
Between the space
Where only nonexistent small cars
Can fit or motorcycles.
That space everyone waits for
That-- I don’t want to have to walk far
Space

But I am waiting for
The space between
Their ear and neck
Where the food settles
Where the phone rests
While they drive
To explode the fat
Deposits left
From all the carbs
These parking lots provide
Cause there is no escape from the wreak
We’ve become.
I am waiting for the unnatural bean stock
Children we produce to forget
To get to the bathrooms before they expel
Fluids on the car floors
Like this is normal
They are big enough.
Waiting
For their thunderous heroes
And malnourished drop-dead models
To lead the way to the next trend
So either we are starving or
Over eating
Lacking the space for balance
For a healthy portion
For a soup and salad
For an adequate size car
In an appropriate sized parking space
In an acidophilus thriving parking lot

These parking lots
Lack sidewalks like SUV’s are more
Important than the body driving it
Super- Undercover- vehicles
Like they are hiding anything
Except the mess or less
Human beings inside
These parking lots and cars
Like graveyards and The Night of the Living Dead
Sending a trouper’s parade
Out of Wal-Mart
With Twinkie ferocity
Shopping bag and saving BIG
I can’t help
But be deathly afraid
Of these scary ASS
parking lots
Full of SUV’s so big
We can’t see
Where the edges
Of our space
Scream-- Enough
I’m full!
Or shit--
I’m hungry!

2009-12-08T04:57:00.000-08:00

I’ve been extracted.
I know it sounds funny
But like a alien
Spaceship invasion
I’ve been sucked out of my world
And dropped almost abruptly
Into a new place where
Accents are so strong
I can not understand
A language that appears
To be my own.
I’ve been abducted
From all that I know
In order to entertain
Southern hospitality
Farms and extreme heat
And there are times
When the little bits still
Left of myself miss
The smog, mice
And frequent hollerings
Of a mad taxi driver
“Move the Fuck out the way”
Honk, Honk-- loudly
With banishes
That are not the sound
These aliens make
Where they drive snail slow
In an attempt to get somewhere.
But I recognize demon speeds
I even know how to avoid them
Or make them happen
And it doesn’t bother me
I can make it home safe there.
But here
Where the clouds
Sun red as Pluto, moon, stars are always
Beautiful and close and the rain
Pounds like waterfalls and then
Crickets
I am clean and hot again
And unsure I will ever make it
Home
The roads go on for ever everywhere
I am not sure at all which direction
To travel
Cause when I was extracted
I know the big alien had a plan
For taking so much care to cover my eyes
To get me here
Even going down portal 95
North
Driving my legs full speed
Can not help me locate
The space that I once lived on
And yet, here is not where I feel safe
It is not where I know how to find
All of my belongings
My yoga classes and friends
It is not where the stars are covered
And the mice are unscared of anything bigger
Where they are just like me
Used to living off of the scrapes
Used to making a home out of the holes
Someone else calls home
And with every extraction
I have been called closer to the greater alien
As things are sucked into
Spaceships and worlds unseen before now
Where I am asked to be bigger
Something I can not unravel
Or decode with my own strength
And the mass that I am becoming
Is layered like the earth’s surface and lava
Where I am burned clean and full
And absolutely supposed to be this close
With tears coming out of my eye
Drying as quickly as they are shed
Even though I am scared to identify no parts
Of what I was before my removal
Burned through light tunnels, years
Lives
Under such extreme speeds of irresistible force
There is no way to reconnect to there
Or me and soon
I won’t even know to care.

Music and Yoga

2009-10-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

Once after teaching a Vinyasa yoga class, I was directed by a fellow yoga teacher to consider the volume of my music during class. I was surprised that the teacher found the music too loud. This is not to speak of whether it was or wasn’t, it was too loud for her, but I’d never personally thought of the volume at all, except during the quieter times a class provides, times of introspection. I was accustom to plugging in my ipod and “rocking out”. The idea that music should be loud, only played softly or played at all during a yoga class is one to consider. It is not uncommon for many teachers to throw out musical accompaniment in order to usher students through directions and into, what maybe for some, a deeper connection to their practice. However, many yoga teachers strive to guide with the use of music and as this becomes a guide, I find it more important to consider the music we are plugging in and then adjust the volume.

No one can say whether yoga is more effective with or without music. It remains a personal need for the teacher and student alike; though, when taking a look at the philosophy of yoga and it’s culture, one thing is certain: Yogas Citta Vrtti Nirodhah. (Yoga is the restraint of the modifications of the mind-stuff). Pantanjali clearly outlines in the Yoga Sutras the goal for yoga. Yoga is about stilling the stuff that inhibits the mind. So, I believe the question here is not whether music should be played or how loud but what type of music should be played, if any, to calm the turbulent waters of the mind.

Because the musical selections played in any given yoga class are usually dictated by the teacher, the yoga teacher becomes a sort of DJ. This music can and is often yoga inspired via Indian music, chanting, or African drums and singing. Though I am sure many yoga students can validate the effect of this type of music, they can not however, always verbally reassure you of this effect. Often yoga students leave class with a new sense of self. Without music, one can only attribute this to the sequence and structure of the class and it’s direct affect on the student, body and mind union. However with music, another entity has an opportunity to collide gracefully or clumsily into the yoga practice. I can attest to having experienced both the graceful and the clumsy. I have been asked who musical artists are after class as well as if I would consider making a yoga music CD.

The effects of music create monuments through, or rocky barrages in and around the beginning, middle and end of any given yoga practice. A silent savanasa or one with music has no choice but to deliver different effects. It is true then. Saraswati, the Indian deity of music, among many other things, clearly represents a path to grasping the underlying spiritual laws of the universe and through this understanding an attainment of spirit and material power.

Taking a yoga class on Martin Luther King’s birthday this year, I discovered the music in one particular yoga class culturally insightful, as each student was invited into their diversity of practice through a brief walk through the music of his time. The tunes ranged from Miles Davis to Aretha Franklin and celebrated the music of many African American musicians and their contributions. I was rendered speechless as Billie Holiday pressed me deeper into my hips and thighs. The class was rich with sound, and though I was only one of the many students in that class on that particular evening, I understood that evening how music can do more for our yoga practice than we give it create.

This is evident as we learn more about Nada Yoga, The yoga of sound. It is uncovered in this style of yoga that sound is not only for dance floors and theatrical stages but also for our mats and, made use of in the most appropriate of ways, for the sanctity of our lives. Though one can not overlook that Nada yoga is not House or Jazz music or anything of the like, all sound comes from one solid sound, “Om”. Every sound, no matter the intricacies, comes from a collection of “Om”s disseminated in various patterns throughout any piece of music, throughout any piece of life. And the dismantling of all, leads back to this simple audible sound.

It is a personal struggle of mine each time I teach a yoga class to DJ with care, as I believe all yoga teachers should consider “to play or not to play”. Each teacher should ask the appropriate questions of their music, just as they do their yoga sequence: What are we trying to achieve? If we are trying to achieve an opening in the hips, we consider eka pada rajakapotasana. We consider lunges or malasana. If we surge forward to connect to some cultural aspect of the human life, we should, as well, consider the play list that will pulse through the speakers and into the yoga student’s chittam (the sum total of the mind).

If these questions are not asked, students are unconsciously subject to the likings of the teacher. This is not always unfortunate, albeit, unstudied. Teaching in any arena is not random and neither is the teaching of yoga. As the yoga DJ in the shortness of a 1-4 hour practice, yoga teachers hold the responsibility to create, such as we do our asana presentation, a continuum for growth and introspection. Listening to the depressions of one musical artist or yoga teacher does not provide peace in thought but rather creates a reminder of life’s ills. A Sanskrit saying says it best, “Mana eva manushyanam karanam banbha monkshood.” “As the mind, so the man; bondage or liberation are in your own mind.” If music is allowed to settle the mind, which it has the capacity to do, music becomes a tool for liberation, not a distraction. And, if one must consider the volume: play it to be heard, not hollered.

Yoga Stuff

2009-09-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

Taking yoga classes all over the country recently, or at least recognizing that at some point I’ve taken classes from New Hampshire to San Francisco, Philadelphia to South Carolina, renders me incite into the workings of the standard Yoga class. In each class, almost regardless of yoga style, one can locate several staples. You will always find some form of prop. Props, being important to mention, as in the United States the majority of yoga students would not be comfortable without them. We have been told, ancient bodies, environments and minds of India and Africa are open, and that our climate and expertise leave us in need of this tool. I do not believe props a bad thing. That assumption would be faulty; however, I do contemplate: Why not our bodies now, our environment and growing expertise? What makes us so in need of what has become many Westerns only way to touch their toes? I do believe in making yoga accessible, but I also believe in working hard to create a quality yoga practice. Locating the full experience and magical moment when Ardha Chandrasana can be done with or without a block is essential.

I’ve also noticed in each Yoga classes or studios, Yoga paraphernalia. Beads, pictures, incense, statues, gongs, cymbals, yoga clothing (with cute “third eye” sayings) and the list goes on. And, I wonder who decided that we needed those? Without having ventured, myself , to India or Egypt or any other country where yoga is a moving force, I hear only second hand accounts of what yoga looks like, how it is practiced and what the people whom practice reveal about themselves. But what I have gleaned from others’ perspectives and from my random travelings is that Prana or any other organic, breathable cotton Yoga clothing variety is unnecessary and superseded by the rawness of clothing one can afford and the importance just to do whatever one attempts to become. And we notice, we have to notice, when we dig 80 or so dollars out of our pockets for a pair of pants that breathe, that someone is no longer able to, because they can not buy something to eat. One might briefly observe their Yoga practice in spandex verses Terri cloth or linen. Are we really able to do more and for what form of acrobatics are we practicing? Are we looking for a stage or a life?

This article is not an attempt to be cynical of our Western style. I appreciate the use of blocks and straps. I find that my arms can stretch further or my alignment becomes better suited to my purposes. I enjoy Buddha and Jesus Christ when they are located on the walls of studios, Gandhi and Sandra Devi, Martin Luther King Jr. I personally want music in my Yoga classes and fun clothing to wear; Still, it in those first moments when I enter a yoga studio that I recognize the amount of stuff that we assume to need. This is not to point at yoga, but to address a culture of possible hording that has filtered into our yoga sanctuaries.

Patanjali clearly outlines in the Yoga Sutras how one particular thread can be applied to this disease. One of the Yamas, often spoken of is Aparigraha. Aparigraha is defined as non-greed. I do not stretch to say that we are greedy in our yoga environments, though one might. I extend my arms to this principle because it uncovers the reality of our excessive wants and how they become needs. I spread my toes to reach forward into a space where we come to do yoga without all the extras, maybe even minus a mat, wearing some cloth, because that is all we need. It is my belief that yoga studios cater to the eye of American beginners, or at least that is my hope.

Patanjali’s thread brings me to one last doodad and probably not the last but the last of my focus here. yoga teachers are interesting beasts and I can say this without offense, as I am one. There are things that we, Yoga teachers, give to yoga students. These amenities filter down from Yoga studio owners, at times. They filter down from style or even out of ability or lack of ability. Yoga teachers are human. I do not mean here to indicate that we are not on the same road as our fellow practitioners. But seeing as though we are on the same road, maybe paces ahead, only, or miles, I notice that we give a standard. There are great teachers and there are teachers. There are teachers who study, teachers who plant and teachers who gather. The Western student receives, most often, a docile teaching. This is not insignificant. Yoga may start off as a physical practice. It is in this way we are able to build confidences in our bodies; however, yoga should grow out of Urdhva Danurasana into a full-bodied open-heart mediation and into life.

I’ve listened to yoga teachers as I practice around the country and realize that we are collectively scant on philosophy. We create physical camps with which we draw our strength. We over-emphasize the physical in order to mask God, deities, prayer, chanting… in order to make our students comfortable. Real yoga is not about comfort. It is about going into the fire to purify our workings internally and externally and finding ease there. It is not about treading softly around the truth. Yoga is about the truth. Those teachers who study, plant and gather know just how to produce that, and work smart at producing students who do the same. A student may come to class dirty, hurting, and unfortunately many teachers will piece together the latest brand of yoga attire, images of a funky Buddha, music and catch phrases, like “feel what you feel” or “keep that, now move this”. Though these phrases may work to create movement and better alignment in the body and mind, this is not all yoga should be allowed to give. The yoga teacher should, more importantly, strive to teach what their hearts say students’ need. We should strive to heal.

It is not easy, I assume, to lose, for most, what makes yoga classes and pockets grow. Many a student will never return to the class where the teacher is curt with them and some will focus so intently on the design of the building, the music or creative sequence alone, that they will miss the message. And though yoga does eventually seep into a consistent student’s marrow, no matter how, yoga’s lasting power is not in the stuff we use to create an illusion. Yoga sticks because it presents the truth-- minus all of our earthly defenses.

"Svadhyaya" Inspired Yoga Class

2009-04-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

Searching the corners of every class I take, I look for what I present to the world. This is not just with Yoga, but when pursuing singing, years ago, I found myself looking for my particular style, somewhere to fit or call home. No matter what I find, I find that my style, in every part of my being, is full. Who really could ask for more, but I still have the urges to locate my origin.

While rewriting my resume recently, I pressed myself to come up with a clearer philosophy. I am evolving. My philosophy can not take a backseat to this change, as it must inevitably grow too. I discovered that my philosophy is about "the dance of life". This is not a new idea but rather another piece of the origin puzzle. Though what I am sharing here in this posting is not about dance per se; this is about how another piece of my beginning is revealing itself and how it was discovered in what I already do.

I teach yoga. I practice Thai Massage and present from the heart, body-awareness movement. I entreat students to flow with the breath and think about life, growth and release through asana. This eclectic style is grounded in dance and pranayama and further, as most recently discovered, Svadhyaya, the practice of introspection and personal evolution, maybe too simply stated.

Wow. I never knew and yet it makes so much sense. This pathway is narrow and colossal, and not because I am on it, but... one should dare to walk down it.

Thai Yoga Massage

2008-05-04T08:53:00.001-07:00

Thai Yoga Massage options:
Thai Massage is an artful dance done by the bodyworker to balance the Sen lines found throughout the body. The client is to be a passive recipient as the bodyworker creates an opportunity for stretching, strengthening, deepening and opening to physical-body awareness, spiritual growth and wellness and relaxation.

Thai Yoga Massage can be done with small groups. Using the bodyworker as the guide, your group of friends, acquaintances, colleagues and/or lover can be the receiver as well as the giver. You work on them, they work on you.(Prices depend on group size and length of time necessary).

Thai Yoga Massage can be done privately. Using a mat low to the floor, the bodyworker will develop a relationship with the client's whole being in order to adjust and enhance the flow of energy through the Sen lines of the body. This work will leave the recipient feeling relaxed and free to entertain their daily activities and take their awareness and focus higher. ($75/ hour; $90/ 1/2 hour).

Thai Yoga Massage can be done in conjunction with a Yoga class. To increase the agility and heart of any yogi or yogini, Thai Massage is one of various pathways which allow one to slip deep into asana and flow through their vinyasa practice. Done on a yoga mat, making use of blankets on occasion, the bodyworker adjusts, guides and enlivens the practice of yoga. This practice also utilizing techniques associated with Meridan Yoga as well. (Individuals :$75/hour; $90/ 1/2 hour, Groups: depends on time and group size).

Leave a message to learn more about Thai Yoga Massage, appointments, times, locations and prices.