In Uncertain Times, What is Certain?

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In Uncertain Times, What is Certain?


I have been asking myself this question again since this pandemic became a part of our lives: what is certain? I know what I know about uncertain times. I have had many in my 40 years. I have had to grieve the mortality of my mother, my aunt and best friend, and my grandmothers and grandfathers on both sides of my family. I have had to consider my own mortality on many occasions as I have been challenged with an incurable form of chronic cancer. I know my story is not special, necessarily. I know that many can say they have experienced worse. I share this story of mortality only to shine light on how in each experience this question of certainty emerged and emerges again for me. Considering what is certain is for me a rock in the mucky water of life and death.

If we have not practiced feeling the intensities of life or had to feel them to the degree that we are feeling them right now, right now may be even more challenging. If you’ve numbed and used things and others as a shield, being alone with your feelings surrounding this virus, you may still be on the run, looking for something to bring you ease. What is certain now? When all of the ways that have displaced our focus on what matters for so long are gone, what then?

Now is not the time to shut our feeling body down. Now is an opportunity to feel for what is certain.To resist feeling the down is not to feel at all. Feeling the shit that we don’t want to feel takes practice. With each glitch in this matrix that we’ve in the past been able to rationalize away, or buy away or drink away... we’ve convinced ourselves that things are solid. We’ve lied to ourselves to placate our need to feel all of our external world to be certain, when it is not.

Begin this practice of feeling the shit by feeling the body, piece by piece. Scan each piece of the body from the tip of your toes to the top of your head. Feel each part and the information each part contains. Then allow it to melt as if melting back into the earth. This uncertain vessel that changes in each moment carries your certain spirit, which we can not see. It is what lives on when the body does not. We can begin to feel our way to what is certain by moving back from the density of the body and external things into the subtle certainty of spirit. The sensations at your heart center can be the guide closer to love, closer to spirit, closer to what is real, when everything else is stripped away.

Try this meditation to bring you closer to that which is certain, to heal your body, earth and see your most intimate connection. The spirit is strong when the body is weak. That is certain. The earth and you, no matter how it looks or feels is full and healing. Find spirit and sit in that still subtle space with certainty that the feelings of the body and of this time and circumstance will pass, but the spirit never dies. It is connected to something much more profound than words. Let us melt into THAT and remember what it is that really does matter.

Om Shanti Om.

Courtney.

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