"The First 101 Things I Learned When My Hot Yoga Wife Got Cancer"
To be diagnosed with cancer changed a lot for me and my family. The hardest part being all the unexpected experiences that emerge from it, all the things you feel that you can not control, and how much you want to protect the people you love, them for me and me for them, from hurting. Having cancer has been a constant reminder that what I think I know, I probably do not. As healthy as I was, it was not enough. I have other karmic dates to resolve. When I am OK with this, it becomes easier to deal with the present moment. I suppose it becomes more clear that this is the way of life when dealing with any life-threatening disease.
It's not easy for anyone all the time. No matter how much we may appear OK, we will all meet challenges. So, I try to remember this with regard to my family. Though they are not receiving treatment personally, they have to sit on the sidelines and watch as someone they love does. On some levels, this is probably harder than going through the treatment itself.
There are lessons for them in this too. I do not know exactly what we all signed up for here, but I do know we all signed up to do it together. So, when my husband shared: "The First 101 Things I Learned When My Hot Yoga Wife Got Cancer," I knew that without a doubt we were heading somewhere. To watch us all learn so much as we go through this journey, keeps me so humble and so proud. Though we can not change the diagnosis, we can change how we deal with it, hopefully to cure it.
Though I am not there yet, and we still have so much to learn, I know we have learned more than we could have, given an easy experience. This time, we've been asked to learn. We have been asked to take a bumpy ride and find the best possible ways to surrender, soften around the rocks, and be honest about the valleys and their outcomes. If we can do this, maybe the experience is not as jagged and helps others to see themselves. Staci, my husband, shares this in his list. If you have ever worked through an illness, are ill, watched or are watching someone through such a struggle, I suggest you read it and then write your own.
Maybe you can use some of these lessons. Allow yourself to open to the possibility that what someone else has learned is a lesson for us all. Live and learn. Live and learn. Do it again.
I am so honored to share Staci's selfless words with you. I am honored to see all he has learned on his mission with all of this. I am grateful that this experience has yielded such great reward. That, I did not know was possible.
Learning again. Sat Nam.
Courtney
__________________________
1. I need more goals
2. Things change, so what
3. Supernatural powers don’t always look supernatural
4. My wife is forgiving, I need to learn from her
5. Chemotherapy sucks. But not the same way for everyone
6. I don’t listen as well as I thought I did
7. Stay in your lane
8. Fasting is a game changer
9. It’s ok to say no
10. Face your fears. Then face them again because they change
11. Yoga fuckin works
12. Just tell the truth man, every time
13. Fighting doesn’t always look like fighting
14. People change their minds. So what
15. I’m afraid of a lot of things.... A lot
16. Slow down
17. Mothers are extremely important no matter what form they manifest in
18. Release judgement
19. I’m selfish
20. Do things other people like sometimes. It shows that you care
21. Make time for your practice. Whatever your practice may be
22. Friends are important, get some
23. Make use of everything you have; until it's not useful anymore
24. Set standards for yourself with care
25. Drink more water, then drink a little more
26. Be of service whenever you can
27. It's ok to breakdown. Get some help and get on w/ it
28. Communicate in real time. If you are unable to; communicate that
29. Relax
30. I’m not always the great husband I think I am
31. Show support. No, real support dumbass!
32. Don’t say that last thing you were just thinking if it’s not going to help... Oh you know if
it’s going to help
33. I really really love my wife, and sometimes I really really suck at showing it
34. Woman have a difficult journey in our society
35. We are all responsible for our own health
36. Shut the fuck up
37. My wife is a giver
38. Plans Change, fuckin adjust
39. Sometimes you have to parent when you don’t feel like parenting
40. It's ok to laugh
41. When you decide that you want something, the Universe will test you to see if you Really
want it.
42. Yoga pants are amazing
43. Being present is not just being around
44. People like what they like
45. I sometimes go straight to the ending, but all the good stuff is in the middle
46. My wife is right most of the time
47. You gotta show up
48. Give what you are requiring
49. Get on board with something or get fuckin left
50. Feel your emotions, all of them, and then clean up when you’re done
51. Show Gratitude, it's ok
52. How to eat pussy better
53. Take care of shit that needs to be taken care of- especially when you don’t feel like it
54. Cheer for one another.. Loudly!
55. Diet, Diet, Diet or Livet Livet Livet
56. Somethings are not that important. No really, just let it go
57. Write. Just start writing
58. Cancer sucks
59. I fear the true intimacy I thought I was creating all along
60. Don’t give up. This doesn't mean you can’t recuperate
61. Please don’t keep score, it's corny
62. You have to fight for yourself
63. Just because you say it, doesn’t mean it's true
64. Don’t try so hard
65. Just be there. No just be there
66. Sleep is important, leave her alone
67. Leave her alone
68. Never leave her alone
69. Keep practicing no matter what is going on
70. Help Out! You don’t have to be asked
71. People love my wife
72. You don’t have to have the answers, you have to have the ears
73. How to be a more patient lover
74. Sometimes we are all a piece of shit. Acknowledge it and get to work correcting it
75. Speak your son’s language and then listen. He’s not going to speak yours
76. Meditation fuckin works
77. Together we will
78. I’m not the great communicator I thought I was
79. My wife is a teacher down to the root of her soul
80. We all affect one another
81. People depend on you until You prove that they can’t
82. Release expectations
83. Don’t try to Make her see it, just suggest..... Over and over again
84. It's ok to cry
85. I have a lot to learn
86. My wife is an amazing mother
87. Keep going
88. We can all learn from one another
89. Marijuana works
90. Stop yelling, that’s bullying your wife
91. Woman do not....... Want to be generalized by whatever the fuck a man decides to finish that dumb ass comment with
92. So what, that happened
93. Alcohol can destroy, don’t let it
94. Everyone has a voice
95. My wife is hella strong
96. I’ve hurt people. Accept it, apologize and move on
97. Opportunity comes at every turn
98. The body is capable of healing itself
99. We will never be equal, she’s just better. No women, no life
100. It's not about you asshole
101. It's scary when your body is in disease
102.
It's not easy for anyone all the time. No matter how much we may appear OK, we will all meet challenges. So, I try to remember this with regard to my family. Though they are not receiving treatment personally, they have to sit on the sidelines and watch as someone they love does. On some levels, this is probably harder than going through the treatment itself.
Though I am not there yet, and we still have so much to learn, I know we have learned more than we could have, given an easy experience. This time, we've been asked to learn. We have been asked to take a bumpy ride and find the best possible ways to surrender, soften around the rocks, and be honest about the valleys and their outcomes. If we can do this, maybe the experience is not as jagged and helps others to see themselves. Staci, my husband, shares this in his list. If you have ever worked through an illness, are ill, watched or are watching someone through such a struggle, I suggest you read it and then write your own.
What are you learning from whatever divine journey you are on?
Maybe you can use some of these lessons. Allow yourself to open to the possibility that what someone else has learned is a lesson for us all. Live and learn. Live and learn. Do it again.
I am so honored to share Staci's selfless words with you. I am honored to see all he has learned on his mission with all of this. I am grateful that this experience has yielded such great reward. That, I did not know was possible.
Learning again. Sat Nam.
Courtney
__________________________
The First 101 Things I Learned When My Hot Yoga Wife Got Cancer
1. I need more goals
2. Things change, so what
3. Supernatural powers don’t always look supernatural
4. My wife is forgiving, I need to learn from her
5. Chemotherapy sucks. But not the same way for everyone
6. I don’t listen as well as I thought I did
7. Stay in your lane
8. Fasting is a game changer
9. It’s ok to say no
10. Face your fears. Then face them again because they change
11. Yoga fuckin works
12. Just tell the truth man, every time
13. Fighting doesn’t always look like fighting
14. People change their minds. So what
15. I’m afraid of a lot of things.... A lot
16. Slow down
17. Mothers are extremely important no matter what form they manifest in
18. Release judgement
19. I’m selfish
20. Do things other people like sometimes. It shows that you care
21. Make time for your practice. Whatever your practice may be
22. Friends are important, get some
23. Make use of everything you have; until it's not useful anymore
24. Set standards for yourself with care
25. Drink more water, then drink a little more
26. Be of service whenever you can
27. It's ok to breakdown. Get some help and get on w/ it
28. Communicate in real time. If you are unable to; communicate that
29. Relax
30. I’m not always the great husband I think I am
31. Show support. No, real support dumbass!
32. Don’t say that last thing you were just thinking if it’s not going to help... Oh you know if
it’s going to help
33. I really really love my wife, and sometimes I really really suck at showing it
34. Woman have a difficult journey in our society
35. We are all responsible for our own health
36. Shut the fuck up
37. My wife is a giver
38. Plans Change, fuckin adjust
39. Sometimes you have to parent when you don’t feel like parenting
40. It's ok to laugh
41. When you decide that you want something, the Universe will test you to see if you Really
want it.
42. Yoga pants are amazing
43. Being present is not just being around
44. People like what they like
45. I sometimes go straight to the ending, but all the good stuff is in the middle
46. My wife is right most of the time
47. You gotta show up
48. Give what you are requiring
49. Get on board with something or get fuckin left
50. Feel your emotions, all of them, and then clean up when you’re done
51. Show Gratitude, it's ok
52. How to eat pussy better
53. Take care of shit that needs to be taken care of- especially when you don’t feel like it
54. Cheer for one another.. Loudly!
55. Diet, Diet, Diet or Livet Livet Livet
56. Somethings are not that important. No really, just let it go
57. Write. Just start writing
58. Cancer sucks
59. I fear the true intimacy I thought I was creating all along
60. Don’t give up. This doesn't mean you can’t recuperate
61. Please don’t keep score, it's corny
62. You have to fight for yourself
63. Just because you say it, doesn’t mean it's true
64. Don’t try so hard
65. Just be there. No just be there
66. Sleep is important, leave her alone
67. Leave her alone
68. Never leave her alone
69. Keep practicing no matter what is going on
70. Help Out! You don’t have to be asked
71. People love my wife
72. You don’t have to have the answers, you have to have the ears
73. How to be a more patient lover
74. Sometimes we are all a piece of shit. Acknowledge it and get to work correcting it
75. Speak your son’s language and then listen. He’s not going to speak yours
76. Meditation fuckin works
77. Together we will
78. I’m not the great communicator I thought I was
79. My wife is a teacher down to the root of her soul
80. We all affect one another
81. People depend on you until You prove that they can’t
82. Release expectations
83. Don’t try to Make her see it, just suggest..... Over and over again
84. It's ok to cry
85. I have a lot to learn
86. My wife is an amazing mother
87. Keep going
88. We can all learn from one another
89. Marijuana works
90. Stop yelling, that’s bullying your wife
91. Woman do not....... Want to be generalized by whatever the fuck a man decides to finish that dumb ass comment with
92. So what, that happened
93. Alcohol can destroy, don’t let it
94. Everyone has a voice
95. My wife is hella strong
96. I’ve hurt people. Accept it, apologize and move on
97. Opportunity comes at every turn
98. The body is capable of healing itself
99. We will never be equal, she’s just better. No women, no life
100. It's not about you asshole
101. It's scary when your body is in disease
102.
By: Staci Rohan
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Paulette