What is within you to be seen?

This week I had an opportunity to see more of myself. Living is like that if we take the time to see, hear, use our senses to be present to what is within us, and how we interact with what is around us. What do you see within yourself? Do you see the good or do you see the not so good? Can you see both? 

After a meditation with the People of Color Sangha on Thursday, the dharma talk, as shared by Rev. Liên Shutt, was about the "Enso of Wholeness." The "Enso, a Japanese word meaning 'circular form' and usually translated into English as 'Zen circle,' is the symbol supreme of Buddhist enlightenment"(lionroar.com). Rev. Shutt shared that we often forget that the inside of the circle is just one aspect of the whole that we are not trapped or defined by. In some cases the enso has this slight space where the beginning does not meet the end, in which we can see that we are incomplete and yet complete, inside but also beyond as well. 

This week as I was seeing myself, I found that I was harshly critiquing myself because of my thoughts. I did not like many of them, and it made me angry with myself that they were there. Can you relate? I had to remind myself that I am not these thoughts and that all of the thoughts that try to take up residence in my mind are not even mine. 

It is hard to make this distinction between my thoughts and that of another's. What my mom or dad told me when I was young is still riding within me. It takes a great level of self study to realize that this is so. 

This week, I had to stop what I was doing and journal it out, remind myself that an uncomfortable thought or even the inaccuracy of a decision because of my thoughts does not make me any less. This is the working of the mind as it attempts to figure things out for us, and other forces which do not want to see me succeed. But this is not the truth. For me, this week, I had to spend some time reminding myself of what is truly within me to be seen, to be honored, rather than admonished. And certainly, I did not do this alone. I had to rely on the help that was around me, and within me. 

Shifting my mindset, renewing my mind, demands that I place my focus on something greater, that I allow myself to see more of the whole picture rather than zooming in on all of the little pieces. For me this starts in Jesus Christ. I set my mind on the grace that I have as a result of His actions, which allow me to have freedom from the things that in this earthly world are designed to distract me from my peace. What do you focus on? 

We can not continue to focus on our earthly struggles alone and claim to be otherworldly, or spiritual, if you rather. This is a contradiction. We are either focused on the problem or focused on the solution. We can not do both at the same time. Yes, we are earthly beings, but if all we ever focus on is the densest parts of ourselves, we can not stretch to see the subtle, as we will become too consumed with what the eye beholds. 

In yoga focusing on the breath in the present moment is a pertinent tool. The practice of using the breath, which is always present, is an opportunity to come back to what matters, to what is within to be seen, to what is whole. There are many ways to practice with the breath as a focal point. But one that I would like to offer you here is like the enso. Can you focus on the beginning and the end of a breath? Or, can you focus on the breath as a whole: the whole inhale and the whole exhale, beginning to end and beginning again? I believe that you can, not all at once, but definitely over time, and as a practice. 

The breath moves on its own, and as we command it, and so do the thoughts. In some cases, it feels as if our actions are like this as well, happening sometimes without our say so. But this is when I believe  focusing on the subtle, the greater, the breath practice, is extremely helpful. Before we keep going with a thought or action, we can stop and acknowledge what is within us to be seen: where is the breath and can we acknowledge something greater than our circumstances? We can ask, What is here to be seen about me, and beyond the circumstance or person? We might even ask the Divine, when we are ready, "How might You use this, too?" 

 Perspective is key, 

 Courtney