Be Scrutinized!

It is not easy to share a truth or to see it, especially when someone else is sharing what they see in us. Yet, when we see a truth in someone else, it is evident. It is a bag of bad apples seen from all the way across the grocery store. However, as soon as you open to the truth in life, in others, and see their faults, you must be ready for others’ scrutiny as well. In most recent years, to scrutinize/ to be scrutinized implies a negative interpretation. However, this is the call of true change. To let one know what is seen, when conscious and walking in grace and compassion, and then allowing someone to share the same.




Truthfully, we can not change alone. We were not designed to see the full spectrum of ourselves clear enough to change in this way. Though it would be nice to have people present truths in “nice” ways, “haters”, to use young vernacular, are just as helpful. We must be able to look into someone else’s eyes and words and see what we are unable to see in our own mirrors. We must be able to hear God, his angels, a guru and whomever else he chooses to use. Moreover, we must be willing to listen when the message is not loud and clear. It is when God is silent that we must trust his presence and begin to here the quiet message.



Recently, when at a modeling experience, an artist asked if I was ok with pictures. I am ok with pictures, and he took many, all of which he showed me afterwards. As he spoke to me about the why’s of his picture taking, he said one thing that stands out to me now. “The digital camera makes light choices that I would not make.” This is an idea that I had not considered. If ever I had taken a picture of myself that was just not right, I assumed that I was just not right. I had made the wrong face or caught the wrong angle. It is true though that our eyes, cameras, voice recordings and ears do not fully encapsulate who we are visually or vocally. It is true that we can never really see or hear how beautifully we have been made.



I personally struggle with the community-change idea because I am not an avid church go-er and as soon as one starts a conversation about God, truth and collective change most congeal that to take place within and under the guidance of a Church “body”. For years, starting with my mother’s death, I have made use of the spirit bodies, family-- blood and other, and friends that have entered my life at the times they were ordained. With gratitude, most of the time, though it may have taken me more than months, years even, to get the message, I was allowed, as we all are, an opportunity to see who I am and make adjustments.



On my mother’s birthday, 2 years ago , I began a new life. I had been headed here for some time, as we are all headed somewhere, and on May 6th, 2008, I finally felt my new feet. I was not happy with what was happening in my personal life and it was at that time that I was allowed a meeting with the very “body” that influences who I am now. I think I will leave that story for another time, but I lay myself open with honesty and to your scrutiny because it is the way of love. Loving the evitable change that comes out of the inside is how I become more like the light that I am. Loving myself and others enough to listen and share is how communities change. It is how the world changes.



Being open to the truth that is presented, however it is presented, shows receptivity, someone ready to deal with the who’s and why’s and be courageous. This is not an easy task. This is where techniques learned in prayer, mediation and yoga practice place themselves eloquently into our lives. When we yell and scream at the process and the presenter we neglect the who’s and why’s. Our response leaves us weak, not strong as one might assume and appear, but instead caught in our egos, in our body, missing the message and destined to repeat the circle again. When we are butchered and allow God’s quiet guidance to usher in His message, spiritual will and courage allow us to see the truth of ourselves; allow us to see the sour space on the grocery store shelf that we inhibit.



If someone attempts to tell you about who you are, listen. If that person is willing to stick their neck out to also be scrutinized, let us all grow together. Anger and frustration are the quickest ways to impinge upon a metamorphosis. If you are immediately angry, discover if you are angry because they are overstepping a boundary you have created to protect yourself from the pain associated with change or if what they’ve presented is so true that it hurts. Either way, change is on the horizon, now or later and there is a truth in everything, whether we want to accept it or not. One never escapes their karma.



I pray us all the right eyes to look into and through and open hearts and ears with which to receive truth. Sat Ra, Namaste.