How Did I Get Cancer, You Ask?

I was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2011. I had just turned 32. There is a lot to say about that because I was doing yoga, and I thought I was breaking through the stagnant energy. I was young. I ate relatively well for my constitution. However, I felt the resistance in my experience deeply, yet, I still thought because I was continuing to move my body and at times feeling free in thought, that I was healthy. I was moving things around, but not out, so what I was thinking was gaining momentum and eventually manifested in my reality. It took some time before I realized all that. And if someone would have told me that when I was diagnosed, I would have been mad!

Twelve years ago, before my son, I went to see a surgeon about my swollen lymph nodes. He told me that if I was not feeling symptoms, I should not cut into my body to see what was there. He did not think it was a problem; lymph nodes do swell. But I knew what I had been thinking, which is why I went, in retrospect. I used to think things like: “My Mom had cancer, so I could get it too,” or “If I get cancer, I’ll do it different than my Mom. If anyone should be able to carry that gene, it will be me.” Silly. And, I did do cancer differently while realizing through the process that it was not something I had to do.

Since then I have learned, I do not have to have anything I do not want to have. I can choose happiness or peace or gratitude. I can choose anything. I can choose cancer, or not.

My focus since 2012 has changed. I realize that thoughts become things. I accept that though God is in control, I ask for what I want. I gather my thoughts early, and I observe with less judgment. I accept that I am a creator. I do not create unless I am aligned with The Infinite, and when I attempt to create from an unstable stance, I take a deep breath and revisit the thought from a place of less resistance LATER. Anything that I resist, I know that it persists, so I accept. And I ask myself, what is real and what is not and then I choose what I want to be real, and I focus on that. I do not lie to myself either. I just focus on that which is real that I feel good about, and I make that as big as possible until the other things are free to come into focus or drop off. I practice creating deliberately. I practice yoga and accept that this practice will be continually morphing as I do and as it should.

I have been doing some WORK to get to that. I laugh out loud when I think about it, the WORK that I have done that fits into one paragraph. I have sacrificed so many smiles, stuck in a thought. I have sacrificed my health holding on to past-life terror. And now, it is time to heal. It is time for us to heal. If you are reading this and aligning with this truth as if it is your own, it is your time to heal. It is your own.

I know that yoga is not the practice that all will use. I accept that we will travel the path of least resistance with regard to what brings us closer to God. What do you want? What do you see? What makes you feel good? Do they match?

 

What do you like to think about that makes you feel good?

OK. Think about that. Make that big.

Recently, I realize that I want happiness. I want happiness that leads to laughter and smiles and sweet exchanges… I asked for it, I looked for it. Therefore, now, I am happier. I feel happy when I line up with things that feel good. Anything that does not get in the happiness lane can get a new lane. I know that I have not because I ask not, in the right way at the right time. EVERYTHING is here for us.

While I continue to align here in the now, I am focused to help whoever I can. You can do this, without a doubt.

EVERYTHING begins with a thought.